And even in secret • They see the great disaster in them. But who will save them?

July 6, 2016   

Haredi Judaism has never interested the media world as much as it has in the past two weeks. In other words, it is always interesting and everything, it is even an item that opens editions on a daily basis. But this time all boundaries were crossed. The tragic end of a sad story is what led the media to delve into the innermost factions of ultra-Orthodox Judaism, to the point of terrible and insane voyeurism. I allow myself to divide the readership into two: those who understood what I was talking about, and those who read the text and looked for the 'tool bearers' at the bottom of the page, to understand what it is and what it is about. For both, the words written will suffice, since the things presented below begin at the end, at the end of the story, and at the end of a sad process, which is taking place, even if we deny it, within the Haredi community. I was a boy and I have also grown old. I have seen trees blooming and leaves falling. I have seen beautiful flowers and grass that have withered. One thing is common to all of them – the Jewish soul. In all of them, even in those at the height of their glory, and even more so in those at the height of their wonder, there is a Jewish soul that is watered. A soul that yearns, thirsts and wanders. Sometimes tormented. This explosive and frightening issue, of going off the path, of deviating from the norms. It is the one that is always at the top of the list of things that need reinforcement and support, and not outside. Deep inside. In Haredi, the 'fifth son' is what they call it. 'Dropout youth' is what they are called in professional language. And no one calls them; pure, misguided and tormented souls. It's true, they have withdrawn from the path, they are causing shame. They are not exactly the great pride of father and mother, certainly not of the gossipy aunt. But hey, they are brothers, tormented to the point of pain, and broken to the point of soul-crushing. It is true, from an educational perspective, they need denunciation and perhaps even ostracization. In terms of preserving the family that is still left, the parents may be obligated to throw out and mourn. They, the parents, who hold the title of 'the greatest lovers,' do not have the tools and strength to deal with the form of rapprochement. On the contrary, as parents, they are often required, out of excruciating pain, to cut everything off and say goodbye. When all the heat has gone, of course. And this is exactly where we, the friends, the environment, and the Haredi public as a collective, enter the picture. This is our territory, where we are obligated to bring together, love, and support. This is the stage where the great and loving parents can no longer give the tormented and painful, bleeding and wounded soul the warmth and love, the shoulder and support that they need.

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The Haredi public has not yet defined clear codes by which it must deal with those who have changed and interpreted. And rightly so. For changing and interpreting is the hardest of all, and we do not have the strength and ability to deal with heretics who have tasted and spit. But love has no rules, and soon there will be no codes. Tens of thousands of shekels, resources and donations, are allocated and directed to associations that deal with approximation. But everyone is busy with one and only thing, with strengthening conversations, and with attempts to love Judaism for our secular brothers. No one is busy, and no one is allocating resources to the beloved and oppressed youth, who come from our side. Those who left everything and retired in one day. Who are now, alone in the battle, without love, without a shoulder and without support. Hence, their path to various and strange associations that are all funded by organizations that help those who come out in question, which are nothing more than a gang of evil that tries to pull into its jaws the best of our people under the guise of help and a hug, short and irreversible. How sad. I deal with them, I know them and I know who they are. They are all leaders of the children of Israel, who did not deserve to stand the test and fell into the pit of destruction. Hell is always spread out before their feet, and there is no wicked person who is not full of regrets and torments of soul like a pomegranate. No one is perfect in their actions, they all suffer day after day and are tormented by their decision that was made without choice. In those moments, they need a shoulder and support, and they would prefer to receive it from someone who comes from within their community, from someone who truly knows them. But there is no such body!

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Haredi Judaism condemns them. Haredi Judaism sees them as the greatest disaster, and perhaps rightly so. But there is a distinction between condemnation and contempt, and love and closeness that we must give to every Jew, even when he is a convert and a heretic. Go out to them, embrace them. Listen to them, do not talk to them about religion, and do not listen to any of their sermons on the subject of religion, they are masters of self-persuasion. Make it clear to them and to you that you are there only to love and provide support in times of difficulty. There is no difference between them and a person who tried to end his life, who now needs support and assistance. Both are searching in the darkness for a solution to their broken souls. Be there and guide them back to their path. At the bottom of the page, an email address will be displayed. If you think you have the strength, courage, or ability and information to help those lost and tormented souls, I would love to hear from you. • Menachem Man is a Haredi writer and publicist: [email protected]