""Train up a boy according to his way, and even when he is old he will not depart from it." The instruction/advice of King Solomon, peace be upon him, came to my mind even more strongly following the National Chabad Women's Conference, which was held this year for the 52nd time.
In the large stadium in Holon, nearly 6,000 Haredi women (not necessarily Chabad women) from all over the country sat excitedly, from Dan to Eilat. It was the hottest day of the year, and those women who arrived were in fact an 'ambassade' of tens of thousands of Chabad women in the country. To put things into perspective, I will point out that there are currently about 15,000 Chabad families living in Israel.
Each one represented her family, her immediate environment, her place of mission. Each of these women passed the messages on to wider circles.
I wouldn't exaggerate if I said that the conference's impact reaches at least sixty thousand women. The organizers believe the number is much higher.
Not at the expense of the children
Outside the Great Hall, dozens of stalls were set up offering their wares to the thousands of women. There were unique educational frameworks for women, such as 'Or Chaya' for studying Hasidism, 'Hovi Ehrenfeld' for academic studies for Haredi women, and more. There were stalls representing newspapers specifically for women, such as 'Mishpacha Hasidit' from the weekly 'Kfar Chabad'. And there were also companies that produce baby food, laundry detergent, yogurt, and more.
In short, everything that interests an ultra-Orthodox woman.
While wandering among the many stalls and interviewing many women, I was reminded of the educational advice of King Solomon, peace be upon him. The tour of the various educational stalls brought me new insights.
I have always seen the Jewish woman in general, and the Haredi woman in particular, as a queen in a regiment whose entire focus is on the success of her family. This is why I decided to dedicate myself to empowering Haredi women.
An empowered woman is a housewife. She is the heart of the home and its solid foundations. My firsthand acquaintance with the educational frameworks designed for Haredi women led me to the conclusion that frameworks that give Haredi women the ability to study for an academic degree in a clean and pure environment also serve the exact same goal – empowering Haredi women and strengthening the Jewish home.
In fact, as paradoxical as it may sound, Haredi women with degrees contribute to and strengthen the world of Torah. They bring in more money and in turn enable their husbands to continue to devote themselves to Torah and work. Haredi mothers who earn more can give more to their children and in turn contribute to shaping the next generation.
But, I must qualify my words and repeat what I have written more than once. All of the above is true in the event that studies and career do not become the main thing in that woman's life. Only when family and home are at the forefront of her mind can that woman receive spiritual strength and power from her academic studies.
From Haifa to Bnei Brak
The dedication of the last generation is not like the dedication of the previous generations. Each generation has its own dedication. Today it is clear to me that the "initiation of the boy" of the previous generation gave us - the members of the current generation - the strength to survive our trials.
Here is a personal story:
My mother, who lived for many good days and years, was only three years old when she arrived with her parents from Poland to the Bat Galim refugee camp near Haifa.
There, in the transit camp, there was no kindergarten suitable for the tradition of the grandfather's home, so he decided in his Galician sensibilities to send her and her five-year-old sister to study at a religious kindergarten in red Haifa.
Thus, every morning, the toddlers made their way from the transit camp to the Hadar neighborhood in the city. One Sabbath, as Grandpa was walking with Mom on his way to the synagogue, Mom saw someone selling ice cream. She asked Grandpa to buy her ice cream. Grandpa, peace be upon him, explained to her that we are religious, we observe Shabbat and on Shabbat it is forbidden to buy.
In response, the toddler said: "It's a shame we're religious...""
That was enough for Grandpa to change his place of residence within a day.
On Sunday, he packed up his grandmother and the two daughters and went down to Bnei Brak with all the packages, where they settled in a cramped, hot one-and-a-half-room apartment.
It was clear to the grandfather that there was nothing more important than the education of the little girls - "Even when he grows old, he will not depart from it" - and he was willing to give his life for it.
The experiences of our generation are completely different. We have no problem finding an educational framework and an observant environment. We face other problems. We have to insist on studying for a degree in separate frameworks. Only buy fancy kosher milk. Express our beauty without crossing the boundaries of modesty, and so on.
This is our dedication.
Not just teaching
If Rebbetzin Adina Bar-Shalom had not established the Haredi College and if Havi Ehrenfeld had not founded appropriate and separate frameworks for degree studies for women, economic constraints would have pushed Haredi women into general frameworks and who knows how many families would have broken up as a result. Thanks to them and many other women, there are now frameworks that enable the Haredi family to escape the cycle of poverty.
This is the experience of this generation, and God bless that there are those who are providing a solution. In general, anyone who participates in empowering Haredi women, in creating frameworks that will give them the tools to earn a living with dignity, deserves recognition.
Since the keys to livelihood remain in the hands of God, it is clear that there are those who make a living in high-tech and those who make a living in alternative therapies. There are those who make a living in medicine and those who make a living in teaching.
And... there are also those who have already completed their livelihood and can afford to engage in Torah and Hasidic studies, which strengthen their personality and contribute greatly to the education and upbringing of their family members.
From a study of the Rebbe's teachings, it can be concluded that the Rebbe exalted, highlighted, and emphasized the power of women, their abilities and possibilities beyond any other field in the field of education.
Empowerment is twofold: quantitative empowerment that directs emphasis and attention to educating the next generation, and qualitative empowerment that brings to light the unique abilities of women in their own right.
When a woman knows and believes that she has it, the issue of education ceases to "burden" her and she sees it as her life's mission. When this is the perception, there is no problem for her to study for an academic degree (subject to the requirements of halakhic law) and direct it to her favorite field: remedial teaching, special education, mathematics, computer science, optometry, or biotechnology.
But when she has no choice and is "forced" to study teaching, and does not see education as her life's mission, her entire being changes. Her unique abilities and strength are not expressed and the harm is greater than the benefit. Especially today, when, thank God, there are strictly kosher frameworks that allow every woman to find her place and livelihood in this world without harming family life and the education of her children.
• Part of the column is based on the talks of the Lubavitcher Rebbe. The author is the owner of "My Choice", an event host, lecturer and radio broadcaster: [email protected]
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