It is difficult, and sometimes impossible, to deal with the laws of nature.
When a malignant disease is not treated, it will spread. If an infection is ignored for a long time, the entire body will suffer. The end result of not treating problematic social phenomena is treating a crisis, and the greater the neglect, the deeper the crisis later.
In recent weeks, a state commission of inquiry has been sitting in distant Australia, examining the 'institutional responses' to incidents of child abuse.
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This is a particularly revealing investigation for the local Jewish community, as the focus of the investigation is two important Haredi institutions and their directors over the years.
Before I get to the point, I will say first that it is clear to me that this is not a phenomenon unique to Haredi culture, but rather that it is prevalent in one way or another in various societies, in all societies, and everywhere. In this article, I will address the Haredi aspect.
The investigation, as mentioned, focuses on ultra-Orthodox educational institutions.
What is so special about this complex investigation? One of the phenomena the committee is trying to understand is the culture of 'surrender.'.
Don't be 'tortured''
In Judaism, there is a well-known concept that prohibits the "delivering" of a Jew to a foreign power. This principle developed and solidified during the years of exile, when it was clear that the authorities had no real interest in the rule of law, but rather in persecuting Jews wherever they were.
But in Australia and other places around the world, they realized, perhaps too late, that concealment and attempts to cope within closed communities under the cover of the 'handover' ban are not helpful and even increase the risk of further harm.
For, unfortunately, the obligation not to hand over Jews to the police claimed many victims.
During the hearings before the committee, a clear picture emerged that there were complaints of abuse inside the school dating back more than twenty years, and for various reasons nothing was done. In some cases, the attackers were even helped to flee the country, so as not to fall into the hands of the local police (not surprisingly, some of those perpetrators harmed other children in the places they went).
Some rabbis in Australia are beginning to internalize the magnitude of the disaster, as they learn of the large number of victims, which stems from their helplessness in not adequately dealing with the phenomenon. In some cases, the victims have experienced repeated abuse, since upon first reporting they were met with disbelief, which sometimes bordered on harassment of their families.
So how did the commission of inquiry come about anyway?
This committee is the fruit of the extraordinary courage of one victim, who after much effort managed to mobilize his family (who also paid a heavy social price) to join the fight. If responsibility had been taken earlier, the harsh exposure that is now affecting the entire Jewish community would have been avoided.
More importantly: if the perpetrators had been eliminated, and the suspects had been handed over to the authorities, quite a few children would have survived, and the harm that accompanies victims of this type for life would have been avoided.
The difficulty of speaking is twice as great
When the victim speaks, it is our duty to be sensitive and careful in our response, and to convey unqualified trust towards them.
However, studies show that in most cases victims do not speak up. The reasons for this vary: shame, fear that they will not be believed, and sometimes a sense of guilt that accompanies the victim (why did I believe him? I am guilty of allowing him to touch me, maybe something in me caused him to act this way, etc.).
In Haredi society, the difficulty of speaking is doubly great: matters of modesty are not a topic of discussion - neither at home nor in educational institutions, and sometimes a child has no words at all to explain what he is experiencing in his own body.
In recent years, with the increase in awareness and collaboration between Haredi society, welfare authorities, and psychological services, quite a few institutions have held informational conferences for parents and educators about the phenomenon, with these conferences providing tools on how to parent a child, and most importantly: how to give him the tools to protect himself from vulnerability.
In Kiryat Sefer, for example, prevention programs were introduced to educational institutions, with the consent of the Rabbi of the Da'ara, Rabbi Meir Kessler - in cooperation with the National Program for Children at Risk. In Beit Shemesh - the National Program, through the organization 'Vavna', funds activities for detection and prevention within the Haredi sector.
It can already be determined that dozens of children have been saved as a result of this activity. In addition, a Magen association was established that also supports victims and families who have experienced sexual abuse.
No one is immune from the sick and the crazy.
Thank God we live in a country ruled by law. Even if everything is not perfect, we can still trust the authorities.
It is important to remember that there are those who will try to harm children in every society, every community, and every sect. No educational institution is immune to the sick and crazy people who seek to abuse children. In this matter, there are no religious, secular or ultra-Orthodox, there are no Jews or non-Jews. We must all be a parent, a sibling, an uncle or a grandfather and ensure that our children's environment is protected, as much as possible, from those who would want to harm them.
It is important to say this again and again: turning a blind eye, refusing to involve the appropriate authorities, allows criminals to continue to harm. The responsibility falls on us, and we are obligated to act and protect those who are unable to protect themselves.
It is impossible to prevent every attack, of course, and yet we must ensure that there is a clear understanding that concealing and blaming the victim prepares the ground for the next attack, and this is truly a matter of personal law.
As I mentioned, there has been considerable progress in recent years, including improving coordination between some rabbis and leaders on the one hand, and welfare and enforcement experts on the other.
In addition, we must involve more child researchers, who also specialize in understanding the sensitivities that exist within the sector.
Staff education
In addition to the education provided to children, awareness-raising is also required.
It's time to demand a clear policy from educational institutions regarding staff screening. Failure to do so results in the victim being punished twice. First by the attacker and secondly when they are not believed.
There are enormous mobilization forces within Israeli society in general and Haredi society in particular. There is a strong and natural desire to protect our children and let them grow up in the safest possible environment.
I suggest, or rather beg each and every one of us, to check the policies of the institutions to which we send our children.
Talk to the children - appropriately - about how to behave in the event that they are attacked, and generally be in a state of constant awareness, which may minimize the phenomenon to the minimum possible.
