Last week we celebrated Passover.
In the days before the holiday, first aid centers were busy with calls due to bleach poisoning from cleaning, and we were busy with the smell emanating from the cleaning materials and bleach that wouldn't come off our hands.
Between cleaning and cleaning, I tried to do an "internal cleaning" for myself in preparation for Passover.
Passover is a holiday of renewal. The soul is renewed, and with it spirituality. Year after year we pass on and preserve the tradition to our sons and daughters. In my opinion, everyone has their own personal "Exodus from Egypt," a life-shaking event that ultimately becomes a personal and empowering learning experience.
There's no need to go into detail, just look around you, at the good things you have, and you will discover your own personal exodus from Egypt.
My personal exodus from Egypt is a return to repentance, from the physical work to the spiritual work of the Creator every day. This is my annual renewal.
It's been a while since I repented, but each time I am strengthened anew by keeping the mitzvot in general, and the mitzvot of Passover in particular, since I know what lies behind those mitzvot, and why I do them.
I don't fulfill them like a robot.
And speaking of innovation and circularity, this column I am writing marks the anniversary of the first column I published in Haredim 10, a whole year has passed in which I wrote many columns (I lost count).
I am aware that from time to time one can also see changes in my positions, but it must be said openly: a person is allowed to change his mind, to become wiser, to learn and to hear different opinions. Even if he does not agree with them. By the way, it is possible to respond to an opinion that contradicts your views pleasantly and not with an outburst...
We always think we know everything, but we never do. Age (or rather time) makes us - whether we like it or not - change our perceptions of life.
The first column
I remember the first column I published about my respiratory illness. You have followed my personal story, which you have apparently been able to understand through a considerable number of columns I have written.
I came to writing the columns on the site under private supervision.
It was about six months after I got sick and left the yeshiva. In those days I was sitting at home. It was the hardest time of my life. It matured me quickly, but at the same time it hurt my heart and body. I felt like the loneliest person in the world, with no friends, no activity. I was at home all day with a lack of vitamin D and a lack of company, due to the stay that unfortunately continues to this day.
But this difficult period didn't only bring bad things. When the doctors told me they didn't know when I would return to normal, if ever, I tried to find jobs. I started to turn a disadvantage into an advantage, or as they say - if life gives you lemons, make lemonade out of them.
I used the ample time at home for online outreach between Haredim and secularists, the story of my personal conversion to Judaism for those who are still in the faith, and much more.
Meanwhile, I noticed that what hurt me the most was the disdainful and disgraceful treatment I received on the street, from people who didn't know me and even those who did - due to the cough symptom I suffer from.
I will not rest or be silent until people show a little more compassion, thoughtfulness, and inclusion toward those who are different, and understand that we were not all born in the same mold.
mission
Meanwhile, I had the opportunity to talk to Sherry Roth, the publisher of the site, who heard my story and suggested that I write a column. My strong desire was seriously realized at that moment, and quite a few columns came out from under my pen, but as they say, the hand is still outstretched, there is still a lot of work to do, and I am only at the beginning of my life, with a face to the future, when the present is vague and the rosy future is not always visible on the horizon.
Everything has its drawbacks and advantages, but as a wise woman, whose name in Israel is Ruth Kolyan, once told me: "There are no such things as disadvantages, there are only advantages." Now this motto stands before my eyes. In everything that seems bad on the surface, I will only see the good in it.
I feel and know that everything comes from the Holy One, blessed be He, who gave me a mission, for the sake of sanctifying God, bringing those who are far away closer, and creating a slightly different media discourse.
You should always aim as high as possible, never be in a state of sigh of relief, and most importantly, know how to learn from the many mistakes of the past.
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