During conversations I have with young people, I often hear many complaints and accusations: complaints about the educational system not investing enough in them, about friends who hurt them, and about teachers who didn't like them.
Sometimes these are just claims of escape, but most of the time it turns out that there is a lot of truth in these claims, and the social rejection, as well as the harm from the educator, makes the boy feel that 'everyone is against him' and that he has nothing to look for here anymore. Such a case was described here Last week.
This week I received sad news about the passing of 'Kindergarten Teacher Rachel'. Kindergarten Teacher Rachel was my and my brothers' mythical kindergarten teacher. I don't have many memories from kindergarten, but one thing I will never forget: the amount of love she showered on the children. A love that didn't end with the end of the school year, but a love that continued for years, while she anxiously followed the development and integration of all her 'children'.
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During her studies at the "small yeshiva," her kindergarten was temporarily moved next to the yeshiva building, and she would secretly sneak up to the yeshiva window and rejoice in the relief of seeing her "children" engaged in the experiences of Abaye and Rava and progressing on the right path.
Everyone loved 'Kindergarten Teacher Rachel', everyone appreciated her, everyone truly knew how much she loved her students, how much she cared about them, and how much she came to work every day with a true sense of mission.
This week she passed away, leaving behind thousands of children orphaned by her maternal love and the endless care of the mythical kindergarten teacher.
Who else liked it?
On the day of her passing, I found myself thinking and trying to remember how many other educators or teachers gave us such amounts of love? Who can I call today the 'mythical educator'? So, right, there was that teacher in fourth grade who was fired in the middle of the year because he was 'too good' according to the principal; and there was that supervisor from the small yeshiva that everyone loved, but who else?
Who else truly loved their students and cared for them even after their studies were over? Who cared for their children before they cared for their job and before they cared for the 'name' of the school or the 'name' of the yeshiva?
Unfortunately I didn't remember much.
And no, not because I have memory problems, I am still young, thank God. The reason is, because I didn't feel it! And if I didn't feel love, there probably wasn't love! For "as the face is to the face, so is the heart of man to man" - it is impossible for a teacher to love his student and his student not to feel it, it is impossible for a teacher to give true love and the student not to remember him for years.
Just love, just love
In these days when discussions about the fate of the education system revolve around the LIV studies, supervision by the Ministry of Education, or supplementing budgets, it seems that we should not forget the primary role of the educator: to give love to the student. Only through love, concern, and personal connection will the teacher succeed in leading to internal change in his students. Without internal change, it is possible to tame, but not educate, students.
Some educators think that the ultimate value is achievement. To that end, they set their students a high bar of expectations that they strive to reach, and harness the entire class to a arduous journey. These teachers forget the basic rule of "educating a boy according to his own path," since an entire class cannot be expected to achieve the same achievements, and not every student is similar to his peers in his skills or abilities.
This is why many students 'fall' along the way or are marginalized during the 'race to achievement'.
The right approach is education from love, an approach that advocates giving and granting and empowering the student's abilities to believe in what is within them. Conveying the message of 'we love you and we believe in you' causes the student to maximize his abilities and strive for perfection.
Often she succeeds in getting the student to achieve higher achievements, and not necessarily out of pressure, but out of a sense of need to repay the love and trust given to him.
If they loved us more
Over the years, I have spoken with many of my friends on the halmud bench, the vast majority of whom, unfortunately, are no longer following in their footsteps. They usually express the same sentiment: 'If they loved us more, we would be less spoiled.' The Sages already said this in Taanit 8: "If you see a student whose talmud is as hard as iron, because of his rabbi who does not show favor to him.".
Today, there is public awareness of the importance of training teachers and educators. Thank God, many institutes are operating where rabbis and teachers acquire professional knowledge in the education professions. However, we must remind ourselves again and again: If a person is unable to love his students, he will not be able to educate them. Even if he has a "senior" or a bachelor's degree.
Education professions should be approached out of a sense of ideological mission, not to supplement income. If we love today's children, we will prevent tomorrow's youth from dropping out...
• Benyahu Yom Tov is the chairman of the 'Connection' movement and the coordinator of the Haredi sector at the Drug and Alcohol Control Authority in Rishon LeZion.
