”What I want to say here now, I wrote exactly a year ago, right after the memorial service,“ began my aunt Tova Friedman. The entire extended family sat together at the annual memorial service for her husband, the late Shlomo, who passed away eight years ago.
I wish our family and the entire people of Israel only happiness – but there is something very meaningful about a family gathering, especially at memorial services. It is not just ”Mazal Tov, Mazal Tov“ with a deafening orchestra playing in the background, but a meaningful evening where you also have longer conversations with family members, and always leave full of meaningful content about the roots from which you grew. Did you notice that I wrote the word ”meaningful“ three times here? This probably means that these are – how do you say it? – meaningful evenings.
But at David Shlomo's memorial, it is especially significant. Both because of the timing (he passed away in Elul, which makes the gathering a kind of family wake-up call) and because of the deceased's life story, which is all about Holocaust and resurrection, construction and destruction, and again construction and again destruction.
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Shlomo, born in Czechoslovakia who lost his parents and six siblings in the Holocaust, immigrated to Israel, completely alone, and rebuilt his life with Tova, my grandmother's sister, daughter of Rabbi Dov Katz, author of the book 'The Moral Movement'. The two lived in the city of Yamit and were among the founders of the religious community in the city, and Tova even ran the religious school there. They raised a wonderful family, and after the painful uprooting of their home in Sinai – they simply moved on, to the next Zionist challenge: establishing Neve Dekalim in Gush Katif. Exactly one year after this destruction, Shlomo passed away.
Our family is blessed, thank God, with important rabbis and scholars of Torah, but always after their sermons at the annual memorial service - Tova speaks. It's a kind of status of the entire tribe where she shares her feelings with us. Aunt Tova's "State of the Nation" speech. I once thought about publishing a booklet of these faith talks, and maybe I will do it one day, but in the meantime, I think that on the eve of Yom Kippur, there is a special interest for the public in what she said there this time:
”Last year, at the end of the memorial service, the response from those present was very encouraging. They told me: ’It was moving,‘ ’It was uplifting,‘ ’Anyone who didn’t come lost,‘ and so on. We were fortunate that every year the number of attendees expanded. A right is passed on by a deserving person, and apparently the late Shlomo has the right to hold such an evening in his memory.
""I hope it will be for the elevation of his soul. What do I understand by the elevation of souls up there?... Throughout our lives we must ensure that our soul ascends here, through good deeds and the worship of God. But at the stage of separation from the body – there is no longer a choice, there is no possibility of correction and there is no possibility of ascension. In any case, the sages say and it is written in the books that the soul ascends elevation after elevation in the world of souls and in the future to come in the world to come.
""It is difficult to understand how, and there are explanations for this, but there is no doubt that a large part - and perhaps the main part that causes the soul to ascend even after separation from the body - is done by family members and friends who study Mishna, speak words of awakening and accept upon themselves without a vow to do Teshuvah.
”So when I returned from the memorial service last year, I wrote down things I felt, and I thought I would say them next year at the memorial service. But the truth is that now, when the time came, I was scared and hesitated. I thought it was not wise to speak too much from the heart. But the inner voice forced me. And forgive me if these things sound like moralizing. The things are addressed to me – and whoever wants to, can take them for themselves too...
”During the seven days, I had a strange feeling. For seven days, wonderful things were said about Solomon. A perfect figure emerged. And I asked myself: Was Solomon truly the epitome of perfection? I went back and reviewed what was said, and I found nothing that was not true.
""All the talk, the stories, the events, the memories and the experiences were true, true to the truth. But in conclusion, a clean image emerged. Without a flaw. This feeling comes back to me on Memorial Day, and of course also in other people's memorials.".
""How does this happen? Are we exaggerating? No, absolutely not! There is no doubt about it. Because it is all true. We are not making it up or imagining it. My explanation to myself is this: Every person has wonderful things, and certainly most of their actions are positive, and of course there are also less nice sides. The only question is: What do we look at? What do we emphasize? What do we focus on?
""How important it is to see the virtues, the good deeds, the virtues, and the positive manifestations in a person, and not just as the well-known saying goes, 'After the martyrdom, it is said.' Not to let the grayness of everyday life confuse us. Not to let the dust of routine cover the shine, because the shine exists! And you can see it even in places that seem otherwise. It all depends on the way you look.".
And Aunt Tova concluded her words thus: ”It is known that God deals with us in a way of measure for measure. Perhaps if we strive to see the good and beautiful in others, we will merit that God will see the good in us and not turn to our evil.“.
And now for an exciting event that I haven't been to. So first of all, I'm making a note in my diary: In exactly seven years less than a week, on Rosh Hashanah Eve, 5772, I'll invite myself to Kibbutz Shaalavim, for a "Shemitah reception" ceremony.
Every week, this kibbutz (and I assume other religious communities as well) holds a ceremony to welcome Shabbat Haaretz on the eve of the Shemitah year.
Some of those present tried to describe to me the special atmosphere that was there. They told me how the Rosh Yeshiva of Shaalavim, Rabbi Yehezkel Yaakovson, announced that he would personally arrange for a fellowship for any farmer from the kibbutz who wished to study in the Beit Midrash this year. They quoted the Rabbi of Nof Ayalon, Rabbi Gideon Binyamin, who spoke of generations who dreamed of ”eating holy food,“ and that only we are privileged to eat from a high table, the table of God, the holy fruits of the Land of Israel in a seventh holy day. They also described how everyone recited Psalms together and sang and danced, “Because the harvests are good to me.”.
And so, in conclusion, Rabbi Aharon Merzbach, the rabbi of the kibbutz, said: ”A positive commandment to shut up. Various books raise the apparent contradiction in this sentence: a positive commandment - to shut up. This is a positive commandment of not doing anything. When we stand in this place, and see our fields plowed, clean and prepared, we are as if saying to God, “The order is set and ready for your command, Commander!’‘.
”In addition to the area where we are standing right now, we also see a very large area there in the valley. All together, about 600 dunams. Multiply that six times or more, all of these areas that belong to the kibbutz in the entire area are now ready for Shmita. About 3,500 dunams that we have abandoned. This is in addition to some areas that we have sown for animal feed as part of the Beit Din treasury.
”I said this week to the children of the kibbutz, and I also say to us adults: Let’s close our eyes for a moment and go back in time, 63 years. Let’s try to imagine this place, the point where we stand. Several young men and women, some of whom are still here with us today, went up to the ground in the month of Av 5711. There were a few tents here then and nothing more. A month and a half later, in 5712, it was the year of Shemitah, and they took it upon themselves to observe Shemitah according to the way of the Chazon Ish zt“l.
""There is no livelihood, the fields are full of stones, and the shemita - according to the decrees of the vision of the Ish. In those days, the great Israelite Rabbi Kahaneman, zt"l, the head of the Ponivez Yeshiva, came here to strengthen the young settlers. He kissed the ground and said: 'Got Shabbat Boymelech'. Shabbat Shalom, a small tree. At that time, the entire valley was still in the hands of the Jordanians.
”And now we will open our eyes – we are about to welcome the tenth Shabbat of the Land in this place. Generation after generation continues on this path. The place has expanded immeasurably, the people of Kiryat Ha-Yeshiva, the people of Nof Ayalon are here with us, and now the kibbutz has grown and a large neighborhood has also been added to it. Around us are houses, and schools, and a yeshiva, and plowed fields ready for Shabbat, and hundreds of men and women from all over Shaalim are coming together to welcome the Shabbat of the Land. The redemption of Israel is being realized in full force right before our eyes, and for that we thank God Almighty.
""We must also remember and acknowledge our gratitude to the State of Israel, which supports and assists farmers during land strikes. It is a great privilege for us to be partners in these special moments. May we soon see the existence of Shemita from the Torah in our days, Amen.".
The participants hurried to disperse to their homes. It is very hot in the afternoon in the fields of grass, and besides, one has to prepare for two days of celebration and one day of Shabbat Teshuvah. But before that, they all stood and sang together, ”Song of Praises, When the Lord Returns to Zion, We Were Like Dreamers,‘ to the tune of “Hatikvah.”.
• The column is published in the newspaper 'Bisheva''
