Elul and Tishrei are months of melodies, from the first selichot to the end of Simchat Torah.
When we are asked what the melodies of these days are, we first of all remember, of course, the familiar piyyutim from the cycle: “And Natana Tokech,” “And All Believe,” “Truly, How Wonderful,” “Achot Katana,” and so on. Each with their own version of the playlist.
But in recent years, a lot of new Teshuva poems have been written, scattered here and there, without us noticing. These are texts in modern Hebrew that describe the Teshuva experience as it has never been written about before. Rabbi Kook writes in the light of Teshuva: “Arise, arise for us, a poet of Teshuva, who will be the poet of life, the poet of revival, the poet of the national soul that is on the way to redemption.” It seems to me that he was not talking about the integration of religious people into the media or reality TV, but about religious people who will offer the world a completely different level of Jewish culture. And here we have already had several such Teshuva poets. So in honor of Rosh Hashanah, here is a collection of some Teshuva poems that I particularly recommend (and that’s without the melody, of course).
The creator Bini Landau is a Jew who makes any hillbilly boy look like a respectable bourgeois. His wild look can be intimidating, so it takes a few minutes to really start listening to him. Landau, a resident of Havat Maon, wrote and composed two albums, 'Beyond the Borders' and 'Mishkan.' One of the strongest songs on the second disc is "Spread the Wings," which is essentially a cry: How could we forget that we are a people of virtue, that we are more worthy, that we can rise higher and higher? Landau criticizes our mistaken assumption, according to which we only know how to walk, and not fly:
If only we would let go of all our strength / and not give up
If we just let go of all the grips / we can spread our wings again
How could we forget who we are and where we came from / and that we are still given the right to raise a chicken?
Years that have passed us by / Crises that have left us hurting
They dimmed our light / weakened our faith
Until it seemed to us that we had always been just walking
And even when walls closed in on us from all sides, our gaze was humbled, and we thought ourselves lost.
Wouldn't we rise from all our falls / and from the depths of the abyss to soaring skies?
Do you know the monk who sold his Ferrari? I do. His name is Rabbi Ran Sarid. A few years ago, he founded the successful chain of stores 'Divrei Shir', which distributes refreshing Jewish culture in many stalls and stands throughout the country. The store at the central bus station in Jerusalem is the largest, but in fact, outside every performance or cultural-spiritual event, you can see the 'Divrei Shir' logo, along with all the newest and most relevant books and CDs in the renewed Jewish scene.
Then, one day, at the age of 40, Sarid announced that he was selling all of his percentages in the network to his partner, Michael Lev, and abandoning the commercial and financial world in favor of a completely new path. In a meeting with him, he told me that, in fact, his dream had always been to release an album. Do you understand? The guy who sold tens of thousands of other people's albums wanted his album to be sold there. Within a few months, it happened, and the album 'Shadow of the Light' was released in stores. Sarid explains in the booklet accompanying the album that the name represents "an entire generation that grew up on the episodes of 'Orot' by Rabbi Kook, but is painfully seeking its spiritual path in the face of a reality that also has shadows. We are the generation of the shadows of the lights... Who knows? Maybe our little song will be part of a soundtrack that makes up the path to the new light that will shine on Zion - and the shadows will flee.".
One of the beautiful songs on the CD deals with repentance, and is called “Heal Her.” It is based on the prayer in which Moses asks for healing for his sister Miriam, but Sarid asks in the song for healing for his own soul. He explains that the song can wean us from all kinds of addictions that our generation suffers from. “You can sing it endlessly in solitude or in holy meditation,” he writes. Here are the lyrics:
God, please heal her / God, please heal her
God, please heal her / God, please heal her
My tired soul / My eager soul
My thirsty soul / Go, go, go
I don't want to forget anymore / I don't want to run away anymore
Just want to go to you / to the shelter of your peace
What did the poet mean? With Avi Benayoun, it's pretty clear. That is, even if you don't understand the meaning of every word, there is helpful material that can be useful. On the cover of the disc, after each song on the album, there is a comprehensive source page. Benayoun, Amir Benayoun's younger and talented brother, lives in Be'er Sheva, is a full-time benefactor at the Orot Yisrael kollel in the city, and writes particularly strong personal texts and then also composes and sings them wonderfully. The song I chose to publish here (and the deliberation was difficult, because almost all of his songs are songs of repentance and self-work) is "Dak Man Hadak":
One more try and that's it / One more try maybe
One more try and that's enough / maybe one too many
One more fall and that's it / One more fall maybe
One more fall and that's enough / maybe one too many
Just not once too many.
Between hope and despair / Thin by thin to feel
On the edge wants to keep/not lose any right to choose
Between white and black / between darkness and light
One more small effort / One more effort, it's already given
One more effort and that's enough / maybe one too many
This time not too much
And here, as promised, comes the page of sources. Benayoun invites the listener to study his poem, which deals with choice, in light of Tractate Sanhedrin (“Rav Yehuda said, Rav said: A man should never bring himself into temptation, for King David brought himself into temptation and failed”) and Tractate Yoma (“He who says, ”I will sin and return, I will sin and return,” is not sufficient in his power to repent“). He then moves on to quotes from the Rambam in the Law of Opinions (”People whose souls are sick desire and love evil opinions and hate the good path and are lazy to walk in it, and it is very heavy on them”), and from the Shelah (“And even if the wicked man increases in sin, if he returns to God with all his heart, and shows his complete repentance to men as well, and holds on to the good path with all his heart and soul and with all his heart, his complete repentance will be accepted’).
Go believe the Breslavs. Exactly a year ago, on the eve of Rosh Hashanah 5774, I estimated from these pages that the upcoming year’s disc would be Shuli Rand’s new album. Based on listening to a few sketches, I promised here that this is without a doubt the album that will change us all. I don’t go back on my word. But regarding the timing, well… in Breslav they call it ”motivations.“ Let’s say that in the year it is released, it will be ”album of the year.“ What year? Don’t ask me.
What is more, when it comes to Shuli Rand's lyrics, even without music it's worth listening to. So here are the lyrics to one of the most charming songs on this album, "They'll Tell You." As usual with Shuli, every song is actually a story, and in this story Shuli skillfully describes a man who completely despairs of the possibility of change, and reminds him that there is no despair in the world at all:
They will tell you that you have been uprooted from my heart / and removed from my table forever.
They will remind you of things you have hidden / until your whole body trembles with shame.
They will stand firm on all your mistakes/stupidity, your fondness for evil.
They will denounce you: it was in your hands / and now there is no way back
And you listen to them / you believe them
They will prove to you: Mercy has a limit / which you crossed with the swish of your feet.
No scream, no sigh, no trick / will turn my face back to you
They will tell you about a voice that whispers: / Return, naughty boys, all except you
They will offer you when you are caught in the web / Now you will flutter in it for your pleasure
And you believe them / you listen to them
And here, after all these words of discouragement, comes the hymn, which seems to have been written specifically for the days of repentance. This is how the Lord of the universe answers the discouraged believer:
Know, my beloved son, that you have not been uprooted from my heart.
You are always mine / A child of grace, a plaything
It's true that I love justice.
But above all I love mercy / mercy
• The column is published in the newspaper on Sheva.