1.
For a long time I tried to suppress it, to tell myself that it was a passing thing that would pass with age, but as the years go by, the problem gets worse: I'm a tsumophobes.
What is a tsumopov, you ask? There's no such word in the dictionary, I know, but that's what I am. A person who suffers from fasting anxiety.
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Look, none of us enjoy fasts, of course. Fasting is suffering, that's exactly the point. You're supposed to suffer and mourn, on the Gedaliah fast, the 10th of Tevet, the 17th of Tammuz and the 9th of Av. And on Yom Kippur? And you tortured your souls. The root of the word "fast" is torture.
So it's true, everyone suffers. But not everyone thinks at the end of the fast, even before the watermelon, about the next fast. That's it, Tisha B'Av is over, you can eat, so what are you worried about now about the Gedaliah fast? There are fifty-one more days and one more night! But what can you do, it's too much for me.
And I don't just think about the next fast, but I also usually know before anyone else what day of the week it will fall on. Especially if it falls on a Sunday. Because as anyone who's even slightly involved in the subject knows, when the fast comes right after Shabbat, with all the food you eat on Shabbat, it's much harder to fast. Or maybe much easier. The truth is, I haven't come to a clear decision on the matter, but I think about it. A lot.
2.
And more symptoms: I have stocks of Kli-Zom in my medicine cabinet. Far beyond the amount allowed by law for personal consumption. Really? I have a dream: to fast for one day without taking Kli-Zom. Who even said it was useful? But I don't have the courage to try fasting without Kli-Zom. I mean, it's always hard for me even with Kli-Zom, but you know what a horrible fast it would be without it!
So instead of taking irresponsible risks, I delve into halachic discussions related to the miracle pill. Did you know how complicated the issue of fasting on Shabbat is? First of all, there is the problem of taking medicine on Shabbat due to concerns about the erosion of symbols: the Sages decreed that a person might come to manufacture his own medicines.
On the other hand, this ruling, according to most poskim, only applies to medications, not dietary supplements. On the other hand, there is the problem of preparing from Shabbat to Shabbat, after all, you take this pill on Shabbat at noon so that it will be easier for you to fast on Sunday at noon. Therefore, many poskim believe that it is appropriate for the God-fearing (and fasting) to crush the pills the day before and take them as part of the Shabbat meal, and not separately. Have you ever crushed a fast pill into your cholent? What, no? Well, that's just because you're not a fast-phobe.
3.
Every fast eve, the traditional articles are published in newspapers and websites: "10 tips to help you get through the fast safely." They always give the same tips. For years. 1954 years, to be exact. Since the destruction of the Temple.
How do I know? Because I always make sure to look at the tips lists, just in case some innovation in the field has arrived this year. Maybe science has discovered things it didn't know before. But I always end up with "It's a good idea to make sure to eat lots of grapes because their sugar breaks down slowly.".
Have you ever eaten grape cholent?
4.
But this year, Tisha B'Av was truly a great torture. We are currently giving lectures in the United States, and the time difference caused the fast to be significantly extended. It's not that I actually fasted for more hours, but in my opinion, the fast was very long. Not one day of fasting, but a day and a half. Why? Because after midnight today, when I just got up from the floor to my chair, all the groups were already bursting with the exciting videos of the singing of the end of the fast at the Western Wall. I could still handle that, but then came all the pictures of breaking the fast with coffee or yeast cake or chocolate or freshly squeezed orange juice or finely chopped salad or yogurt with pieces of fruit or those thin Oreo sandwich cookies filled with vanilla-flavored cream. In short, you get the point. Then all kinds of videos of singers coming out with new songs to kick off the wedding season started popping up in my head. And I'm still on Tisha B'Av, right? God bless you.
I actually experienced digital jet lag. It's amazing how in our era, it's not just about where you are physically, but also where your consciousness is, what the networks around you are broadcasting. My heart is in the East and I'm starving at the end of the West.
5.
But, thank God, there are people who function better than me during the fast. Much better. And in my opinion, something new is beginning here that will accompany us during the following fasts (until they become joy and happiness, and who knows, maybe even after). So for the historians who want to know where it all began: the fast of Tammuz 17, 5782, Petah Tikva. Rabbi Hanan Shukron announced a one-day study marathon of Tractate Taanit, and published ads calling for youth to come. Many raised an eyebrow. After all, young people have extremely limited attention spans, they say. And besides, why would anyone come to study during the fast? Rabbi Hanan himself thought he would end the day with fewer than a certain number of participants. The result was amazing: 63 youths started and finished Tractate Taanit, while fasting.
Rabbi Yoni Lavie was the one who told me about this ending: "We talk about today's youth, but we need to talk about the youth of the fast... It's important to note that those who came weren't just dosim-lamdanim. There were also young people there who sometimes fall asleep during Gemara lessons at school, or who usually spend the days of the fast sleeping, bored, and in front of screens. This time they surprised themselves and did something that until that moment seemed like an imaginary dream to them.".
The study took place in an underground hall, without cell phone reception, which certainly helped with concentration. Some of the boys completed a tractate for the first time in their lives, and returned home with shining eyes. Within a few days, it became clear that the study trend had spread beyond Petah Tikva: Forty teenagers studied Tractate Taanit for one day in one neighborhood in Karnei Shomron, and in another neighborhood another group completed the tractate.
This is interesting. If we were to suggest to all these boys that they study one page a day, in depth and leisurely, they would probably be less enthusiastic. Perhaps in a generation that needs instant gratification, even study should occasionally be a study of great achievement. Torah-Extreme.
6.
And that's not the end. There are about thirty-five branches of the TorahNo'ar network scattered throughout the country, in collaboration with the Solamot association. The project began with one branch, 'Ale Hadas', founded by Ariel Drasinovar and his friend Hovav Uzan, a member of the Hadas Ben-Shoshan Jewish community. Ariel was killed three weeks before his wedding, in a car accident at the Baruchin junction, and since then the activity, which is dedicated to the elevation of his soul, has been expanding. The TorahNo'ar branch in the city of Ra'anana heard about the new idea and quickly published its own ad: "Who wants to finish Tractate Shlomo in two days?".
Who wants to? It turns out that dozens of young people want to. On Wednesday and Thursday, the 5th-7th of Av, at the Mishkan Michael synagogue in Ra'anana, they studied Tractate Shlomo, in a slightly different format. Each time, a different rabbi taught two pages, with breaks, and with a night when you could sleep on it and continue the next day. These two days ended with a festive mitzvah meal with the students, teachers, and family members.
But the highlight was on Tisha B'Av. A new ad was designed and distributed in the Har Homa neighborhood of Jerusalem: "What will you do on Tisha B'Av this year? Instead of being destroyed at home, let's build together! Want to finish the entire book of Mesilat Yesharim in one day?" What a beautiful initiative. Today, Torah is being studied. That is, morality.
And so, in the heat of the fast, at 11:00 a.m., dozens of teenagers sat in the Yosef Haim synagogue, studying with Rabbi Amir Dadon (awesome name. Did Rabbi Natan Goshen reach the end?). And just as the ad said: "At the end of each chapter, we stop for a brief summary and refreshment, and finish by 7 p.m., for mincha and arab, and then a sumptuous closing meal with the neighborhood rabbi, Rabbi Ariel Edri. In accordance with the laws of Tisha B'Av, the study will emphasize the work of virtue. Improving virtue and strengthening goodness bring the building of the Temple closer!".
The neighborhood's youth movements – Bnei Akiva, Ezra and Ariel – spread the word about the project. Those who came received a Mesilat Yesharim book, as well as a 'journey diary' notebook to write down points and a summary, and even two-color markers to mark sentences that caught their attention (note: "one color for the points I'm strong on, and a second color for the points that need reinforcement").
7.
I know what some of you are thinking. That it's not serious. That it's not sure that it's worth examining every teenager from Petah Tikva, Karnei Shomron, and Ra'anana for every detail in Tractate Taanit... So what. This generation of ours, who is both indebted and entitled, probably also needs a project like this, which has a lot of ambition, enthusiasm, and youthful joy.
And yes, you're right, it's a bit funny to learn the Mesilat Yesharim in one day. Sounds like a parody of our frenetic era. Learning the Mesilat Yesharim requires self-work, internalization, after all, the book itself talks about a ladder that you climb step by step. So it's true, I don't think all the boys there acquired the qualities of caution, agility, cleanliness, celibacy, piety, humility, fear of sin and holiness in one day. And even more so on a fasting day. But even if they got tired, lost concentration, and didn't really absorb everything - something entered their hearts. The event itself, the meeting and the atmosphere make a great educational impression. One thing is clear: they did not acquire the qualities of stupidity, vanity, envy, abomination, treachery, pride and stupidity at that time at home in front of the screen.
How did one of the finishers of Tractate Taanit write in that marathon in Petah Tikva that started it all? "Sometimes we have low expectations of ourselves, in all areas. I learned here to aim high and I received a huge lesson, both in Gemara but also about myself.".
Well, I completely understand him. After all, for years I was also a gamer.
• The column is published in the newspaper 'Bisheva''
