An irresponsible child is a child who has not accepted responsibility. A parent should remember that the goal of education, whatever it may be, is to reach a state where the messages are assimilated, the child matures and lives his own life. A parent, like any teacher, should mark a goal after which the student, the child, will stand on his own merits and no longer need the instructions of his teacher and mentor.
You don't have to wait until you reach your goal to know that you've achieved it. Every week, every month, every year, the child and parent need to see progress toward the goal – another small step toward independence.
Financial education is an excellent way to demonstrate this progress toward independence. When a child showers a parent with "buy me" requests, he is asking for at least one more thing than we hear at first: he is asking to know what the limit is. I asked for candy, the child thinks to himself, and my father willingly gave it to me, so why not ask for another one? We continued on our trip and saw a nice game, why shouldn't my father buy it for me? And if he already bought it, then why not another one?
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A parent who has granted one or more requests and suddenly begins to refuse may encounter difficult dilemmas. The child may ask himself, for example, why did Dad agree to buy two stupid games and when I ask for an educational game he suddenly refuses? The child is trying to understand the principle, the limit.
We, as parents, must tell our children in word and deed. A purchase is also a statement. If we connect this to the educational principle of imposing responsibility on the child, we can allocate amounts to our children in advance – for any purpose. When we go on a trip, for example, we will decide in advance what amount we will allocate to each child. That way, the child can decide whether he wants to buy ice cream, candy, or a cold drink. That way, his siblings will not be motivated by jealousy, but by their own desire.
In any case, it is right to allow children to keep the money they did not spend and save it for other purposes. This way, the limit is set by the parent, and the responsibility is the child's.
The writer is the CEO of the 'Economics for You' association - promoting economic education in Israel
