Life and death, as a proverb.
Many voices have been raised about this shocking affair, which has many complex layers, some of which have not been revealed to the public at all.
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Some support the cry and some do not. I have no intention of discussing the affair itself and certainly not expressing an opinion or position (as is known, the prohibition of 'slander' in Jewish law is based on 'truthful words'), and it is important for me to note that the following lines were written without any affiliation with any side.
I would also like to raise three issues that, following the tragedy, surfaced and came to my mind - which have so far not received any adequate response.
Our community is known for its acts of charity and kindness, something that does not exist in any other sector, at least not on the scale that exists in the Haredi sector. The strict observance of the commandments also stands before the Haredi Jew to speak to God at any given moment.
But in my opinion, one existential thing is missing in this special community - giving a person the opportunity to rise after a fall, and paving the way for him to repent.
The ability to forgive another and allow him to mend his ways, with the basic understanding that man is nothing more than a mortal who may stumble, is essential, and thus required for our existence as a reformed society.
This does not mean, God forbid, consent or granting legitimacy and accreditation to his actions, but rather an understanding that he is still a human being - and even if he has fallen, there is still hope for his future.
"They asked wisdom what is the punishment for a sinner? She said to them, 'Sinners, evil will pursue them.' They asked prophecy what is the punishment for a sinner? She said to them, 'The soul that sins shall die.' They asked the Torah what is the punishment for a sinner? She said: 'He shall bring a sacrifice and make atonement.' They asked the Holy One, 'He is a sinner, what is his punishment?' He said to them, "He shall repent and make atonement for him.'' (Yerushalmi Makhot 2:6).
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The second point is an institutionalized, sector-specific response to complaints about such matters.
Many opinions were heard on the streets of a city that if the stories attributed to him had not been so widely publicized and so painfully publicized, the deceased would probably be alive today.
On the other hand, there is no doubt that allegations of such horrific acts should receive a proper response and thorough examination.
Under the existing circumstances, the way the complainants dealt with the allegations was through a newspaper article, which rolled like an unstoppable snowball down a slippery slope, at the end of which the complainant made a decision to harm himself.
There is no doubt in my mind that if there were an institutionalized, official, professional and Torah-based body, which would have the full backing of all the great men of Israel - not as one that arose on its own behalf and passed judgment before all the parties had been heard - to which cases would be transferred, while maintaining privacy 'behind closed doors', without noise and ringing bells and while focusing on Mostly And in examining the case, and subsequently, to the extent required, providing emotional and legal treatment, things would have proceeded in a completely different manner, both towards the person suspected and especially towards the complainants.
This need is doubly necessary in a society where there are many initiatives to 'repair the world' and maintain the 'sanctity of the camp'.
For the national-religious sector, there is a 'regulation forum' that provides answers to, among other things, these matters. But for the ultra-Orthodox public, as far as I know, there is really none.
From here, I call on businessmen in the sector to take up the gauntlet, act, and assist in establishing this important project and save lives (literally).
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The last thing in order of things, but certainly not the least in importance, is the dire lack of response to children's education and parental guidance in dealing with the publication of such tragedies.
All of us, without exception, saw him as a professional and educator with immense knowledge and understanding of the psyche of an adolescent child.
There is no Haredi child who has never read a story from his books; there is no student at Haidar who has not heard his name; some would say that he was a true 'cultural icon' in our community.
Therefore, I believe that I am not the only parent who, in this case, has to deal with the question: What to tell the children? How to convey this difficult story to them? And most importantly - what to answer the precise questions of the little ones?
And our diamonds come with questions. They are already informed of all the details of the story from their friends, and they seek our response as parents and as a significant figure in their lives.
Apart from a statement published regarding a certain educational institution, which gave instructions to teachers, I have not seen a comprehensive response that would address all parents in the Haredi community, as it does not seem to me that there is a family whose children have not raised this tragedy as a topic of conversation...
Fortunately, I have acquired a great deal of professional knowledge in the field of psychology over the years, and I have mediated the matter for my children in a professional and sensitive manner. But what will the many parents do, who feel they have been forced to deal with the situation alone?
Let us learn from this difficult event and perhaps we will also succeed in preventing the next disaster.
