Yesterday I snatched the ceasefire "in front".
Like this. Frontal.
Like a car hitting a wall at high speed.
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I was urgently called to join a two-hour "Zitz" on Kol Hai Radio that was broadcast live between 9:00 PM and 11:00 PM last night (Tuesday). On the broadcast were several United Hatzalah volunteers, a keyboardist, and a guitar player, and we ran two hours of fun, togetherness, and appreciation for the volunteers and their families.
Two hours less a few minutes.
Because towards the end of the second hour, the "drip" began and immediately came the collapse of the ceasefire.
Like all of Israel, for the past two weeks my schedule has been governed by the whims of the Hamas chairman (and the fragility of the Israeli parliament speaker) and while planning a vacation/outing/meeting, my eyes are fixed on the news while adopting new slang whose decoding is known only to the people of Palestine.
So for the benefit of all those who have not yet internalized the new situation we find ourselves in, below is a brief dictionary that will save us all a lot of unnecessary words.
"Will be extended"". Usually comes in the form of a question. And its meaning - will the ceasefire be extended (then there is a chance that we will get a little more imaginary peace).
"Drip"". In contrast to the everyday use of this word, in recent times this word has taken on a completely different meaning and its translation in the new slang: sparse rocket fire. (From time to time). And its meaning: to go out into open areas but look at the sky every few minutes with apprehension. And no. An umbrella will not help in this case.
"Elimination"". It usually came with a positive connotation, and usually together with the greedy pair "operation" (see Lakman) meaning: We have a stock from last season that we are stuck with deep in our throats, and we must get rid of it in order to raise enough money to purchase another stock, which we are also stuck with, and God forbid.
On the other hand, today, if your interlocutor tells you that "there is a liquidation," you should cancel all your plans for the next few hours (and not to go shopping...) due to massive rocket fire towards Israel.
"operation"". Ouch. How I loved that word. And how I used it with love and affection. Whenever I was exposed to that word, the credit card would be pulled out of the depths of the closet and come out like a free and happy sparrow. But today, an operation means suffering, deaths, and hope for the end of the operation. Here or there. But let it end already, God! So on the next phone call to your sister-in-law, don't casually blurt out that there is an operation.... Emphasize that it is Fox. Or Castro. It doesn't matter. Just not in Gaza.
"Hear"". So many years ago, this was a code word to indicate the time of entering the world of matchmaking. But today, oh my. Today, when someone asks you if you "hear," you better sharpen your ears, because the person in front of you wants to know if there really is an alarm right now or if he's imagining it. So if you're talking to a guy about 20 and you ask him if he "hears" and suddenly he turns pale, it's not because he's not into matchmaking...
"Ground operation"". Recently, this term has been used by several commercial companies that offer another blooming dream of an imaginary return on the purchase of barren fields on the outskirts of densely populated cities. So if someone asks you today if there is a ground operation, please make sure that they are not an agent of a straw company or an IDF officer who is about to recruit you (again) under Order 8.
Alternatively, don't be surprised if the person you're talking to about a land deal suddenly gets excited and happy... It's not because he's an idiot. It's because he purchased such a land unit. (But then in any case, he's an idiot in a certain sense).
"Red color""Once upon a time, this was an advertisement for a commercial company that sold paints. Its name was Tambor. And if we're talking about Tambor and the "red paint" warning, the slogan that's plastered all over the billboards in their new campaign definitely takes on a different and frightening meaning. "Look what paint can do"..... So please, don't walk into a paint store and shout from the edge of the store to the salesperson, "Is there red paint?"...
Anyone who wasn't able to listen to yesterday's wonderful program is invited to go to the Radio Kol Hai website and listen to the recording. It's worth it. Really.
Comments, feedback, and suggestions are welcome by email: [email protected]
And as is tradition, I will end with the promise, "Every request will be answered." Truly.
Yours, Micah Sholem.
