The column I published here last week about domestic violence managed to move even the indifferent and cynical among us.
I received many emails asking for help and expressing distress. I also received responses like "You're brave" and "Thank you for raising awareness." I also received questions like: "If I know of someone in the neighborhood whose husband is beating her and she's afraid to call the police, what should I do?""
On this occasion, I will bring up something that a director at one of the battered women's shelters, somewhere in one of the Haredi cities, wrote to me: "In my opinion, the woman needs to know that she is not alone and that someone is with her. It must be made clear that they are willing to go to the police with her and do whatever is necessary, and on the other hand, they are willing to be a listening ear for her so that she has someone to talk to.
""Try to direct her to take active action, but not in an accusatory and stressful way, and make it clear that we are with her even if she doesn't do so. Of course, she should be referred for treatment to a domestic violence prevention center. The husband doesn't have to know about this.".
It's clear to me that there's no chance that I'll be able to cure all of our society's ills through one column or another.
Of course I won't be able to eradicate the phenomenon of women suffering from domestic violence.
But the mere fact of raising awareness about the issue is a blessing for us.
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The morning after Jacob's wedding to his uncle Laban's daughter, the deception was discovered. But at the same time, he was also informed that his beloved Rachel had done a particularly noble deed and given her sister the "signs" he had agreed to. This fact made him want Rachel even more and commit to seven more years of work in return.
The agreed-upon codes that Jacob based himself on and that he agreed upon with Rachel before their wedding day, those codes that were intended to prevent Laban from deceiving him, were given to Leah so that she would not be disgraced. Thus, even though the patriarchs had kept the entire Torah before it was given, Jacob married two sisters.
The understanding that these were not just two sisters, but two righteous sisters, caused this. Because the main reason for the prohibition of two sisters lies in their being "trouble" with each other. Here it was clear that they were not trouble, and that is why Jacob was taken to task.
Moreover: Our forefather Jacob promised Rachel that he would bear her. Rachel waited patiently for seven years. So that when in the morning he learned that it was Leah, Jacob did some reckoning with himself and came to the conclusion that his duty to Rachel was greater than the severity he had taken upon himself to keep the Torah before it was given.
Our forefather Jacob, who studied Torah and Halacha with Shem and Eber, understood that the commitment to Rachel preceded his sincere desire to excel and excel in the service of God. He knew how to distinguish between his own progress and exaltation, and the minimum that he owed to Rachel by virtue of their mutual commitment.
A wise soul rejects everything.
It is said that the Rabbi of Brisk was very lenient in all matters related to personal safety, despite being very strict in all other matters.
At every slightest doubt of pikuach nefesh, he would be lenient and allow a desecration of Shabbat that in fact is not a desecration at all. Once he was asked how he allowed himself to be so lenient in the laws of Shabbat. The Rabbi of Brisk answered and said: "I do not lenient in the laws of Shabbat. I am strict in the laws of pikuach nefesh...""
And hence a lesson for each and every one of us. The laws of life protection must be made stricter! There is certainly no room for considerations such as "what will they say" and "family honor" in the case of domestic violence.
• The author is the owner ""My choice"", event host, lecturer and radio broadcaster. For comments: [email protected]
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