The situation in the country is not simple. We are starting to get used to the stones, we are taking it easy with individual attackers, who are 'just' stabbing us in the back, and we are completely oblivious to the pushing and harassment in the Old City Square.
We are afraid to act, lest the dark days of old return, but the silent intifada is already here, within us, with great force and in every direction.
Many, many better than me, have tried to find the answer to these actions, to search for the appropriate response, to discover the solution to the terrible situation we find ourselves in.
They say: 'Get up, kill him, get up, kill him,' and even if you only dreamed that he got up, shoot him already, lest he be a terrorist. They say: Until you are sure that he is a terrorist, don't dare touch him in any way, lest he be a man from the community, who only bent down to pick up the ticket he dropped on the way to the train.
These say: His sentence is death! And these claim: His sentence is life! And who am I, the little one, who does not pretend to understand the implications of state security, who am I to abrogate his sentence?
There is no answer, and a silent intifada is disturbing our peace, which has never existed.
Is silence, for us, an answer? Or is silence and inaction like an admission?
Sometimes we can't solve lofty problems, but we can solve a specific problem, and even if it can't be done in a state and public manner, it can be done in a personal, private and individualistic manner.
I see this in family life. One of the methods that I use a lot with clients seeking advice is: To solve a problem, don't start setting fires in the house, cutting off heads in the family, shouting "Gowald" and going crazy. To solve a problem, it's enough to just look at it from a specific perspective and allow the result to happen by itself.
The child doesn't want to eat what you serve him? Stop begging, stop fighting, stop punishing and stop talking. Take the plate and make it clear to him that there is no food until tonight.
The child is not willing to take a sweater? Stop coaxing and reminding, stop nagging and forcing, no one tolerates being cold, if he goes out and feels cold, he won't forget the sweater tomorrow.
The idea behind the natural consequence is that you, the mother, get out of the fight, stop being the bad mother, stop being the one who forces, scolds, shouts, and turns chairs over, and quietly leave the decision to the child. Now your child has nothing to complain about, you didn't do anything against him, he also doesn't want to suffer and therefore will change his behavior.
All of this can only be accomplished if you, the responsible adult, take a step back and allow the scenario to unfold, without anger on your part and without expressing a position in any way.
It's exactly the same in big life, until we find a 'miracle solution' to what's happening, let's at least let natural consequences happen. To this day, for some reason, we don't do this.
Throwing stones at the light rail? Why bury our heads in the sand and enter the same inferno every day over and over again? Why won't the light rail authority say, with lip service: "Our dear friends, we have arranged for the light rail to reach you, but what can we do if we are not willing to accept a shower of stones on our heads? Therefore, until you sort out the matter and bring about a situation where we can enter your area in peace and security - we will no longer be able to pass through this place. As soon as we know that there is no danger to our lives, we will continue and come to you.""
A person was stabbed at a gas station and all the station employees, as the person who was stabbed said, stood around grinning? "Sorry, we won't come to gas up at your place again. It's true that the perpetrator was a lone gunman, but based on the grinning, we learned that the place poses a danger to us, so until we know that we can gas up at your place with complete safety - we won't go in." This doesn't have to come as an order from above, it's enough that each person behaves in this way personally and privately and without scolding.
A person was stabbed in the Old City? In front of dozens of people who didn't intervene? We would advise all the tourists we know not to make their way this way. It's true that it will harm tourism in the area, but we didn't cause it. "Local residents, if you know how to look out for passersby - we have no objection to making our way your way.""
Obviously, if we do this demonstratively and announce to our children in a loud voice: "From today on, there will be no food between meals, and even if you jump to the ceiling, it won't help!" - the child will cause a scandal.
It is clear that if we take the natural consequence in front of our children and tell them: "This is it, you deserve it! Now freeze to death" - the children will not give up on us, they will want to prove that we have the upper hand and a power struggle will begin between them and us.
In contrast, even if we attack the Arabs of the country and call out to them: Punishment for the Arabs! Or death to the terrorists! They will rise up and become agitated, but if we quietly allow the natural outcome to happen, I believe that no one will become agitated. On the contrary, those who will broadcast the threats from the scene will arise, because they will disturb them, not us, in their daily lives.
I know that my words sound innocent, I know that there will be those who will ask and wonder: "What is this petty comparison of our righteous children and the criminal Arabs?" I know that we are constantly looking for the right way to respond to increasingly vile acts and hope that we will find one, but I am sure that a large part of our failed behavior towards the Arabs stems from a lack of response that makes them feel that they have the upper hand, or from forceful statements that do not lead to any results, under those quiet and beneficial actions.
When one does not know which way to act, the way of force or the way of concession and understanding, and out of unnecessary hesitation does nothing – it may be worth acting in the third way that will decide between them, it may be possible to do exactly the same things, by conducting oneself quietly and converting the punishment into a wise natural consequence.
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