In days when reality outside is turbulent and mental stress reaches its peak, many of us are looking for a way to regain control.
Dr. Amir Kulik, senior lecturer at Merkaz Yashir and developer of the ITT method, explains in a special column how to build true mental resilience and turn the brain into our personal protector.
What is mental resilience? And why do people experience the same external events differently??
Mental resilience is defined as the ability to function in stressful situations, and the ability to recover from difficult life events and return to normal. In other words, mental resilience is essentially about our ability to continue to function in difficult situations.
Our ability to continue to function even in emergency situations depends first and foremost on our ability to control the sense of threat, the stress, that we feel in the face of external events. The sense of threat is created in the brain, not outside of us. And this is a fundamental point to understand, especially in these difficult times. What makes these difficult times difficult is our automatic internal reaction to events, our internal dialogue: what we imagine will happen, what we tell ourselves about the situation, and what the automatic meaning the brain gives to what is happening outside.
Since all these internal things are different from person to person, the level of stress they experience will necessarily be different. For example, a person who imagines difficult scenarios that could happen to him or his family will experience anxiety, while a person who focuses "on the here and now", and does not let his mind "run ahead" to difficult future scenarios, will experience the same external events relatively calmly. In other words, the key is control over our mind and our inner world.
So how do we do it in practice? How do we control our inner world to reduce anxiety and increase peace, or in other words, how do we strengthen our mental resilience?
Ways to reduce stress can be divided into two: one is external actions and the other is internal actions.
The most important external actions in our context are:
Reducing exposure to news – The more you keep up with the news, the more material you provide your brain with to be anxious about. Limit your news consumption and that of the people you care about to once or twice a day.
Create a routine – Even if you have broken out of your routine and the children are not in daycare, create an emergency routine: get up at a fixed time in the morning, work, study or do some tasks, have lunch, spend time with the children, afternoon activities at home or outside, etc. Sleeping at a fixed time is as similar as possible to the usual routine times.
Incorporate activities that increase relaxation into your daily routine. - There are several activities that have been scientifically proven to reduce stress and activate the body's calm response:
Going out or staying in nature – When the brain sees green, it automatically relaxes. It can be grass, a park, a field, a forest, or anything else that has a bit of nature in it. And if it is not possible to leave or get away from home as a result of the situation, simply open the computer and distract yourself with pictures of a landscape. You can also close your eyes and imagine that you are there, remembering a time when we were in nature.
Physical activity – Physical activity causes the brain to secrete calming substances. Many studies show the connection between physical strength and mental strength and resilience. Therefore, it is especially important to make sure during times like these to move your body: walk, dance, jump, play catch with the children, look for exercise and movement videos and do them together with the children, anything that will get you and the people you love moving.
Conscious breathing or meditation – Conscious breathing is any activity in which we focus on our breathing. This can be achieved through one of the following techniques:
Focusing on breathing – Close your eyes and focus on the flow of air entering and leaving your body, imagine a candle or other object and focus on it. When your awareness wanders to another place – gently bring it back to your breath and the candle. Start with a few minutes and increase as it becomes easy.
Box breathing – Try the technique called box breathing: inhale for an internal count of 4, hold the air for 4, exhale for 4, hold without air for 4, and repeat. If this is easy, you can increase it to 5 or 6. That is, inhale for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 5, hold for 5. Repeat this technique 5 – 10 times or until you relax.
Breathing here and now – Place a hand on your stomach and a hand on your chest. Inhale and say in your heart: I am here, exhale – and now. Repeat the process at least 10 times.
laughter – Laughter is one of the healthiest things we know, various studies have shown that laughter extends life expectancy. It is precisely at times like these that you will proactively introduce laughter into your life: find videos of stand-up comedians, funny series even for children, have a joke competition with the children, and any other activity that will bring laughter into your life.
Sleep – One of the most important activities for maintaining health and peace. Lack of sleep is one of the causes of depression and anxiety. Therefore, especially in times of emergency, make sure to go to bed at reasonable hours, disconnect from screens and news about an hour before bedtime, take a hot shower, engage in some pleasant activity in the evening: reading, studying, talking, etc., avoid drinking coffee or sweetened juices in the evening. Caffeine and white sugar are stimulating and impair the quality of sleep.
Internal actions to reduce stress and create peace
How to release difficult feelings
We give space to our own and others' feelings. – Let’s breathe and feel what comes up in us. An emotion or feeling is actually a wave or an electro-chemical current that the brain produces. This wave passes through the body, and when we try to suppress it or not feel it, it simply accumulates in our internal system and creates a load, that is, stress. Therefore, when a certain emotion comes up, simply breathe and feel it for a few moments. Don’t be scared by it, don’t judge it, don’t try to make it disappear, but just feel it. The same goes for children or the people around us. Let them too Legitimacy Feel what they are feeling right now (not cancel, not tell them what they should or shouldn't feel). Once we have felt, we can release using one of the techniques for releasing feelings.
A simple and effective technique for releasing difficult feelings
Here is a simple and effective technique for releasing difficult feelings:
Rate the difficulty between 0 (lowest) and 10 (highest).
Start moving your eyes right and left at a relatively fast pace 20 times, trying to see your right ear and left ear.
Take a deep breath – inhale a lot of air, fill your entire body, wait two seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth.
Think about a person you love, imagine their smile.
Check how much the sensation has decreased and repeat these steps again until the sensation drops to a level of 2 or below.
Another technique for releasing unpleasant feelings is called color breathing.
Feel the unpleasant feeling and give it color.
Imagine that when we exhale, we are blowing this color out.
What feeling would you like to feel in the place? What is its color?
Take a breath and imagine that you are bringing the color of the pleasant feeling into yourself.
Continue to exhale the color of the unpleasant feeling and inhale the pleasant feeling until the body and mind relax.
How to release unpleasant thoughts
Our brain almost automatically imagines unpleasant movies and scenarios. This is primarily related to the brain's attempt to prepare us for scenarios that could put us at risk. The thing is, when we believe these internal movies, we become stressed and anxious. So what do we do?
If I notice that my mind is creating an unpleasant future movie, stop and imagine another movie. Close your eyes and simply proactively change the movie. Imagine the negative movie as distant and dark, the positive movie as big, colorful, and beautiful.
Another way to control thoughts and the mental imagery is to tell ourselves every time unpleasant thoughts arise: "A thought is just a thought, not instructions for operation," and repeat this statement every time an unpleasant thought arises until it fades and disappears. You can also combine a breathing technique: for example, "here and now" breathing or saturation breathing with the elimination of thoughts: breathing and saying internally "A thought is just a thought, not instructions for operation," and continue until the negative thought and unpleasant feeling fade.
In conclusion:
The key to mental resilience in emergencies is, on the one hand, to control our external environment as much as possible: reduce exposure to unpleasant content, maintain a routine and incorporate activities that increase peace: physical activity, conscious breathing, laughter, good sleep, and on the other hand, to control our internal environment: give space to emotions, release unpleasant feelings and thoughts. Remember that ultimately our inner being, our thoughts and feelings, determines how we experience the outside world. It all starts inside...
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