How fun. I decided I liked the elections. I decided I even wanted to cheer them on.
No. I did not receive a senior and rewarding position. The 258 million NIS allocated to the Central Elections Committee will have to find another pocket to warm up in.
No. I didn't change my mind as if my vote would change anything. In any case, the Haredi parties will be divided as if we were the majority in the Knesset.
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No. I didn't find a member of Knesset who was able to convince me that he would represent me and look after my interests.
No. I do not identify with any of the new parties (which in a few months will be old and within one shortened term they will be history).
So what?!
Prayer friends. My prayer has become incredibly calm.
Throughout the year, on gray and dreary days, every time I arrive at the Hasidic shtebil where I pray Shacharit, I am approached by cute guys with tiny beards adorning their chins, trying to get me to guess what the siren was at 11:02 PM (exactly!) last night (the guys really do record the departure time).
The guys who are really in trouble even know how to point out with knowledge that my car was seen wandering around on X street and according to cross-examination, I was taking care of family Y.
I have almost no way of starting the prayer without trying to shake them off of me, while adhering to medical confidentiality, privacy, and the laws of defamation.
What to do? The young men of the Hamed are all immersed in the latest and greatest, in the issues that stand at the top of the world, and are immersed up to their brows in Gemara and Halacha. Praise be to God.
Ignorance is power.
But since the elections were announced, a thread of kindness has been drawn over me and my daily routine has become much easier.
And why, you ask? Here is the answer:
Because of my aversion to the election system and the lack of knowledge that I make sure to exaggerate in every conversation that turns to matters of polls, parties, electoral thresholds, and the like, I send all the knowledgeable ones to look for another opinion leader with whom to hold coalition negotiations.
I really don't understand the age-old debate between survey companies: whether a telephone survey is better or an online survey.
Each company will throw all its weight behind proving with signs and examples why its survey is the most reliable (except for an estimated 51% deviation and a one-to-one chance of a 100% error).
Why don't they open a questionnaire station at the entrance to every central shtetl in an ultra-Orthodox neighborhood, and they will have all the information, about all the considerations, arguments, opinions, deals and confidential agreements.
It would be much cheaper for them, and all the results could be compiled well before the main morning news at 8:00.
Eli Yishai is waiting for Stiebel
In any case, because there are elections, and I'm careful not to understand the intricacies of political systems, a bunch of my favorite guys stopped accompanying me as I entered the Stiebel in a desperate attempt to get some news out of me about the exploits of United Hatzalah in the hours leading up to the morning prayer.
They have other, more important things to do. After all, Yishai will only pass the threshold if they approve. No?!
I hope we all take the election campaign in the right proportion (zero from zero). Women will not be elected and will not be elected, members of Knesset will not care about women's health (because they don't care about men's health either... so stop being so angry at them), working Haredim will not receive representation (as well as marginal Hasidism from the general Hasidic stream), and the prominent activist from the municipal system who was marked as the next MK (for sure) will be thrown out the window as a useless tool because the CEO of the "institutions" will be recruited to the unpopular number 8 spot.
Even hot-headed guys who think that vandalizing signs of the 'opposing' party can affect the results of my or someone else's vote will go about their blessed activities; Greenpeace members will commit collective suicide in light of the cutting down of millions of trees to produce tons of Pashkvil that only helps the owners of the printing houses (and scatters on the floor), and the Knesset members will once again explain why they did not keep their explicit promises from last time, and why only if we vote for them again - this time they will keep them.
Okay. I think you understand.
Why? Why do we repeat this thing in every election campaign as if something has changed or something can change...
Believe me, everything that has arisen around us and everything that has been built has come about thanks to hard work and labor. Not thanks to any member of Knesset or party.
If we invest all our emotions, money, effort, and energy into helping each other, we will get much further than if Eli Yishai gets an X, or candidate 8 gets in.
And may my prayer be answered.
your,
Micah Sholem.
