I hear and read about the substantive debate between those in favor of having Haredi women in the Knesset and those opposed, and I would like to express my opinion on the matter, as a woman who made a significant breakthrough in Haredi media, when she joined the broadcast on Kol Berama radio, which for years had closed its doors to women.
When I was offered a place to present to parents on Friday mornings about a year and a half ago, I wondered if it was a good idea.
The truth is, I answered myself no.
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I greatly appreciated Radio Kol Berama, which until then had maintained its ultra-Orthodox character by excluding women's legs and keeping them away from its lines. I didn't appreciate this because someone put a gun to my neck, but because I had learned since my childhood and infancy that Shabbat belongs inside (and there is no shame in that!).
After some thought, I came to the conclusion that since the radio station is obligated to include a woman, and since I am not a young woman and my words are aimed at parents and then at children, and every caregiver knows that children and women receive more from female caregivers than from men (this is why most kindergarten teachers in the world are women, almost no kindergarten teachers, and most counselors and mental health therapists are women) - therefore, I decided to take on the task.
I took it upon myself, and today I offer a corner for parents and also a program for children (if you ask me, in my opinion, it would have been more appropriate to create a special day for women, or certain hours for women, or a daily strip for women only. But we all know that there are constraints...).
From the moment I entered Kol Barama, I made decisions for myself: not to sing on air, not even for a single paragraph, which is absolutely forbidden; not to joke around with my words; not to giggle; not to have excessively loud conversations, things that the men in the group of announcers at every station do without batting an eyelid.
Only after I understood the concept I had set for myself did I agree to do it, and I think even the extremists in the group would agree – she adds, “I will return there, even though I am a woman and perhaps precisely because of that, but respect for the station.”.
The Knesset is not an easy place to sit in privacy, safety, and concealment.
The Knesset is a "loud" place by nature, it is an "opinionated" place by nature, it is a place where women and men mix together, who talk, giggle and, above all, shout at each other, and mingle without any distinction between religion, race or gender.
From the beginning, we, the Haredim, were supposed to completely stay away from such a place; even our men and boys have nothing to do there.
In the current situation, where we are there, it doesn't matter at all which of us is sitting there. Because in any case, if we are Haredi, first and foremost we listen to our rabbis. So it doesn't matter whether the representative who sits in the Knesset and conveys the words is one or the other.
None of our voters choose a leader. We choose a party, even if the leader is not to our liking.
So what difference does it make, really, who says the things?
If so, why should we, women, put ourselves in this place at all, where we can't say everything that comes to our mind anyway?.
And in addition, we, women, have always been at home and worried about preserving our modesty (this is also not shameful!). We must think and consider for ourselves: Is it possible to sit in the Knesset quietly, without shouting, without loudly asserting our claims (see Stav Shapir's article from Labor)?! Is it possible to speak (and be heard) with gentleness and calmness as befits women, while the Knesset is stirring and noisy and excited without restraint? Isn't that completely utopian!
What my husband said
Today it is a shame to admit and say:
-I do what my husband says!
-The daughter of a king, her place is inside!
-I am a housewife!
But what can we do, this is the truth in most Haredi homes, this is the tradition passed down from father to son. We have conventions, there is a division of roles that is sometimes clear and decisive, even if someone doesn't like it. This is how we learned. We were born into this. This is a fact and it is difficult to change it, and among us, why change it?
Even the career women among us are much more than that, family women, God bless them (and let's stop being ashamed of that too!). It has not yet been proven that another concept is more valuable, and this is compared to the feminist revolution, which did not lead to a particularly happy result.
In addition, precisely when we sit on a throne, we long to be dressed as royalty.
Then, the wig on our head gets longer, the skirt gets shorter, and finally, what is the big difference between us and our neighbors?
I am not one of the silent ones,
I am not the most humble,
I am not one of those who believe that all talk about a woman is shameful.
And yet I turn to you, women:
How about voicing what you have to say?
Make your voice heard in other ways.
Who needs you in the Knesset?
There's no one listening there anyway...
• Mencha Fox – writer, journalist, family therapist and program host on Kol Barama Radio
