{"id":286925,"date":"2016-06-07T08:49:27","date_gmt":"2016-06-07T05:49:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ch10.co.il\/?p=286925"},"modified":"2025-08-07T17:25:37","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T14:25:37","slug":"%d7%92%d7%9d-%d7%9c%d7%92%d7%a7-%d7%94%d7%9e%d7%a8%d7%98%d7%a9-%d7%94%d7%99%d7%95-%d7%90%d7%91%d7%90-%d7%95%d7%90%d7%9e%d7%90-%d7%9c%d7%9b%d7%9c-%d7%a4%d7%95%d7%92%d7%a2-%d7%99%d7%a9-%d7%9e%d7%a9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ch10.co.il\/en\/news\/286925\/","title":{"rendered":"Every &#039;child abuser&#039; has a family. So what?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p dir=\"rtl\"><span style=\"line-height: 1.5em;\">Serial killer Jack the Ripper has been captured.<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">Jack, an English Jew, was handed over to the authorities by Jewish acquaintances. He is currently being questioned by law enforcement and undergoing psychiatric evaluation. His name has been released in order to obtain evidence that could lead to his conviction.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">His father is very angry about his name being revealed and says: &quot;Even if, God forbid, my son did something, is this the way? Is this how you make amends? How will the world see it? It&#039;s blasphemy.&quot;.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">This father sounds crazy, doesn&#039;t he?<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">And now, please replace Jack the Ripper with another attacker. An ultra-Orthodox one. Suddenly it doesn&#039;t sound so far-fetched to us...<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">Why is an argument about destroying the good name of a family whose father murdered people acceptable to us? Why do we worry about damaging the matchmaking of the brothers and sisters or children of an abuser, and not about the multitude of matchmaking - and the lives that were, are and will be destroyed because of him? Why does the abuser&#039;s family become a central consideration?<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">Maybe we simply don&#039;t know that the greatest trauma known to psychology today is the trauma of assault and serious acts? Maybe we believe that the abuser must have the face of an evil and sadistic person, and vile daily behavior?<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">Indeed, unfortunately, there is considerable weight to the lack of awareness of the possible depth of such harm, and its nature, or more accurately, the multitude of issues, types, and methods.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">But this is not the main reason.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">There is another reason.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">Modesty, which is a very blessed thing in itself, has a heavy price when it encounters the world of vulnerability.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">They are being humbled.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">And if we humiliate them, we pay: we allow the harm to continue to happen, we allow us to live in the illusion that it is not really happening to us. We do not deter harmers from harming, we do not allow victims to receive the basic thing of justice that comes to light.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">They don&#039;t prevent the next crime.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">We maintain modesty and silence and pay the price of the prohibitions of the Torah.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">So we got used to it.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">We have become accustomed to the fact that assault offenses, unlike murder or theft, are treated in private rooms at best, and silenced and ignored at worst.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">We&#039;ve gotten used to not talking about it, because we feel sorry for the offender and his family.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">We have become accustomed to instinctively claiming to any such rumor: &quot;It can&#039;t be.&quot;.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">We have become accustomed to thinking that a person who holds a Torah position and is respected by the public, who reciprocates kindness and raises many students, would not make sense to commit such a sin.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">We got used to it.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">It&#039;s time we got used to something different. To reality.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">One after another, stories are being revealed now. We are only at the beginning of a process. There is a long, long and painful list.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">There are masses of abusers among us. There are fairly well-established statistics.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">So if an unhappy father of such a son who murdered people (his unhappiness cannot be diminished in the slightest by this), asks you: &quot;Is this how we do it? Is this the way? How will the world see this?&quot;\"<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">Answer him:<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">\"&quot;With all the pain, yes. This is how we do it. This is the way. Only in this way will our world be a better place. Only in this way will blasphemy truly be prevented. Only in this way will the Torah be preserved.&quot;.<\/p>\r\n<p dir=\"rtl\">\"&quot;For when a man rises up against his neighbor and kills a person, so is this matter.&quot;\"<\/p>\r\n---------------------------\r\n\r\n\u05d0\u05d1\u05d9\u05d2\u05d9\u05dc \u05e7\u05e8\u05dc\u05d9\u05e0\u05e1\u05e7\u05d9, \u05de\u05e0\u05d4\u05dc\u05ea \u05d5\u05de\u05d9\u05d9\u05e1\u05d3\u05ea '\u05dc\u05d0 \u05ea\u05e9\u05ea\u05d5\u05e7'. \u05dc\u05db\u05dc \u05e9\u05d0\u05dc\u05d4 \u05d5\u05e2\u05d6\u05e8\u05d4 \u05e0\u05d9\u05ea\u05df \u05dc\u05e4\u05e0\u05d5\u05ea \u05d0\u05dc\u05d9\u05e0\u05d5 \u05dc\u05de\u05d9\u05d9\u05dc:\u00a0<a href=\"mailto:lo.tishtok@gmail.com\" target=\"_blank\">lo.tishtok@gmail.com<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"We have become accustomed to assault offenses being handled in private at best, and to silence and ignoring at worst. \u2022 We have become accustomed to not speaking out, because we pity the offender and his family. We have become accustomed to thinking that a person who holds a Torah position and is respected by the public would not make sense to commit such a sin. \u2022 It is time we got used to something different. To reality","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[138],"tags":[11140,203,10984,10192,11048],"class_list":["post-286925","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-138","tag-11140","tag-203","tag-10984","tag-10192","tag-11048"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u05dc\u05db\u05dc &#039;\u05ea\u05d5\u05e7\u05e3 \u05e7\u05d8\u05d9\u05e0\u05d9\u05dd&#039; \u05d9\u05e9 \u05de\u05e9\u05e4\u05d7\u05d4. \u05d0\u05d6 \u05de\u05d4? - \u05d7\u05e8\u05d3\u05d9\u05dd10<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ch10.co.il\/en\/news\/286925\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u05dc\u05db\u05dc &#039;\u05ea\u05d5\u05e7\u05e3 \u05e7\u05d8\u05d9\u05e0\u05d9\u05dd&#039; \u05d9\u05e9 \u05de\u05e9\u05e4\u05d7\u05d4. \u05d0\u05d6 \u05de\u05d4? 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