{"id":256361,"date":"2016-02-21T20:53:44","date_gmt":"2016-02-21T18:53:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ch10.co.il\/?p=256361"},"modified":"2016-02-23T20:30:38","modified_gmt":"2016-02-23T18:30:38","slug":"%d7%90%d7%99%d7%9a-%d7%9c%d7%9e%d7%93%d7%aa%d7%99-%d7%9e%d7%9e%d7%9b%d7%aa%d7%91-%d7%a9%d7%9c-%d7%94%d7%a8%d7%91%d7%99-%d7%9c%d7%a0%d7%a2%d7%a8%d7%94-%d7%a9%d7%90%d7%99%d7%91%d7%93%d7%94-%d7%90%d7%aa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ch10.co.il\/en\/news\/256361\/","title":{"rendered":"How I learned from the Rebbe's letter Communication from the Creator"},"content":{"rendered":"

\""Rise up to kill you, rise up to kill him." This sentence, or rather this halacha, was at the center of a media storm this week. <\/span><\/p>\r\n

Its spiritual explanation is: It is the evil inclination that has risen to kill you, so be early to kill it. Rise before it, rise earlier in order to defeat it.<\/span><\/p>\r\n

I don't think there's any room at all to hold a discussion about the Chief of Staff's words, which were supported by the Minister of Defense, because the law is clear and leaves no room for doubt. There is no reference to the age of the one who got up to kill you. He is sentenced to death whether he is 14 years old or if it's a girl with a school bag.<\/p>\r\n

But that's not what I wanted to talk about at the end of a painful week, in which a horrific car accident took the lives of six fearless and wholesome Jews, and in which it became clear that Egged lacks sensitivity and minimal decency when it comes to the Haredi public.<\/p>\r\n

The pain was twofold, both in reading the offensive ad and in Egged's attempt to extricate herself from the media minefield in a shlomial way.<\/p>\r\n

But, again, that's not what I wanted to talk about at the end of the week. It's about the weight of the media in our lives.<\/p>\r\n

This story illustrated the media's ability to be violent. We all know that. But this week I learned for the first time about 'giraffe language' - and I wanted to share that with you.<\/p>\r\n

Communication brings people closer together<\/b><\/p>\r\n

In professional language, giraffe language is described as a language of rapprochement. The model of "nonviolent communication" is a tool for dialogue that focuses on resolving conflicts, misunderstandings, and coping with various life situations.<\/p>\r\n

Dialogue is carried out through mutual understanding of empathetic messages. It is a way of life that allows for taking personal responsibility and empathetic listening to oneself and others.<\/p>\r\n

In communication workshops of this type, participants acquire skills of expression and empathic listening, which contribute to the quality of their communication with others and to the satisfaction of their needs and the needs of others. Educators and parents acquire skills and ways to set clear boundaries without the use of fear, guilt, or shame.<\/p>\r\n

As always, I seek out innovative techniques in the Torah and in the words of the sages of Israel for generations.<\/p>\r\n

Here is a free adaptation of a letter the Rebbe wrote to a young girl who wrote to him about her misfortune after losing her 37-year-old mother:<\/p>\r\n

\""I received your letter in which you write about the passing of your mother, may she rest in peace, and about the feelings and thoughts you have about it. May you, all the children, and your father, be distinguished for a good and long life.".<\/p>\r\n

\""None of us can understand the ways in which the Creator leads the world. But of one thing there is no doubt: He who created man, leads him and watches over him with personal providence, is the very essence of goodness and wants only to bring good to all His creatures.<\/p>\r\n

\""Sometimes we see God's actions and do not understand where the goodness lies in them. But is it any wonder that we cannot understand the Creator of the world? After all, He is infinite and without any limits, while we are limited and measured creatures; how then can we pretend to understand His actions?<\/p>\r\n

\""Despite this, God Almighty revealed some of His wisdom to us, humans made of flesh and blood. He did this in His Holy Torah, which is called the 'Torah of Light' and the 'Torah of Life,' meaning that it illuminates our lives so that even we, with our limited powers, can see and understand the light.".<\/p>\r\n

\""So, to find at least some understanding of such tragic events, we must look to the Written and Oral Torah. In the Shulchan Aruch we find two laws that seem to contradict each other. The first says that it is forbidden to mourn more than is necessary, and that, God forbid, a severe punishment awaits a person who overdoes it. The second law says that one must mourn, and whoever does not mourn as the Sages commanded is called cruel.<\/p>\r\n

\""Apparently, if mourning is a natural and understandable thing \u2013 what's wrong with a person mourning more than necessary? And if excessive mourning brings severe punishment, perhaps it is better to reduce mourning as much as possible?"<\/p>\r\n

To ease the sorrow<\/b><\/p>\r\n

\""To understand this, we must look at what happens when a person dies.<\/p>\r\n

\""It is clear and simple that the soul lives an eternal life. It would not be logical to say that because of some physical illness in the human body, damage was also caused to the soul. Even when a person dies, the soul continues to live - but while during a person's life the body and soul were connected to each other, at the time of death a disconnection is created between them.<\/p>\r\n

\""For the soul, there is a dimension of joy here. It is spiritual in essence, and the connection to the physical and material body only limited it. Now it is free and liberated from the shackles of the body, can ascend higher and higher, and even reach high spiritual levels thanks to the commandments it observed when it was in this world.<\/p>\r\n

\""And if the soul is happy, then every person who was close and dear to that soul should also recognize the soul's joy. However, for those who live in this world - death is a loss, as the soul has now separated from the body and life in our world. True, the soul can ascend to higher spiritual levels, but it could do so even in this world while continuing to keep the commandments!<\/p>\r\n

\""This brings about two opposite feelings: a sense of recognition of the soul's joy alongside mourning for separation and loss. Therefore, the two laws in the Shulchan Aruch do not contradict but rather complement each other. On the one hand, one must mourn, and mourning should lead to self-examination and repentance \u2013 why the people who live in this world were punished by the soul of their loved one being taken from them; while on the other hand, one should not mourn more than is necessary.<\/p>\r\n

\""You must also remember that since the soul lives forever, the connection between it and its relatives and loved ones also continues forever, and every good deed they do brings it contentment in the true world. When you fulfill the commandments and good deeds, your mother's peace of mind is sevenfold greater; after all, she also has a share in your good deeds that you perform thanks to the education she gave you.<\/p>\r\n

\""The Torah says, 'Serve the Lord with joy.' When the Torah commands us to do something, it also gives us the strength to do so. Observing the things that appear in this letter is also part of the instructions of our holy Torah, and therefore they too must be observed with joy.<\/p>\r\n

\""And while all of this is relevant to each and every member of the family, your father and you \u2013 as the eldest child in the family \u2013 have a special responsibility and special powers from above to uphold this and influence all family members. And thus also an answer to your question of how the great sorrow can be alleviated.".<\/p>\r\n

"The answer is based on behavior in the spirit of the things, with strong confidence in God that you will succeed in doing so. May you preach good in all that has been said, in the goodness that is seen and revealed.".<\/p>\r\n

---<\/p>\r\n

I dedicate this column to the families of those killed in the horrific accident that occurred at the beginning of last week and to the family of Saint Tuvia Weissman, who was murdered over the weekend in the attack at Shaar Binyamin.<\/p>\r\n

\u2022 The author is the owner \""My choice"\"<\/a>, event host, lecturer and radio broadcaster. For comments: Mirisch1@gmail.com<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Why did he rush to kill him even though he was fourteen years old? \u2022 What is the technique of communication called "Giraffe Language"? \u2022 And why is there no contradiction between the law that prohibits excessive mourning and the law that requires mourning? \u2022 Column by Miri Schneerson","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[138],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-256361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-138"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n\u05d0\u05d9\u05da \u05dc\u05de\u05d3\u05ea\u05d9 \u05de\u05de\u05db\u05ea\u05d1 \u05e9\u05dc \u05d4\u05e8\u05d1\u05d9 \u05ea\u05e7\u05e9\u05d5\u05e8\u05ea \u05de\u05e7\u05e8\u05d1\u05ea - \u05d7\u05e8\u05d3\u05d9\u05dd10<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ch10.co.il\/en\/news\/256361\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u05d0\u05d9\u05da \u05dc\u05de\u05d3\u05ea\u05d9 \u05de\u05de\u05db\u05ea\u05d1 \u05e9\u05dc \u05d4\u05e8\u05d1\u05d9 \u05ea\u05e7\u05e9\u05d5\u05e8\u05ea \u05de\u05e7\u05e8\u05d1\u05ea - 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