A person who is loved by everyone, who has no haters, who no one can say a bad word about – this is seemingly a desired ideal. Everyone would wish to be in such a position, wouldn't they?
However, the Sages make a surprising statement in the Talmud (Ketuboth 152b): "A wise student is loved by the people of his city not because he is so excellent, but because he does not challenge them in heavenly matters.".
The image of Noah is also imprinted in the consciousness of the people of Israel in a complex way.
Indeed, he was an innocent righteous man, the only one who was saved (with his family) from the flood, but he was also 'required for reproach' for not acting to save his contemporaries. He represents the type of 'righteous man in fur' - outside it is frosty, people are freezing, while he is wrapped in his fur and is warm and comfortable.
Moses vs. Noah
In contrast, the figure that Judaism presents to us is that of Moses our Lord. After the sin of the calf, God, blessed be He, offered him to establish a new nation from it and destroy the sinful people, but he did not agree, and even told God, blessed be He, that if he did so, he would erase his name from the Torah.
And with all his great love for his people, Moses did not aspire to be loved. When necessary, he knew how to punish. When he saw fit, he uttered harsh words of rebuke. The responsibility he felt for each and every one of the people did not allow him to wrap himself in his "fur", but he went out into the cold street and faced his challenges.
Indeed, he made some enemies.
The Torah repeatedly tells of the disputes against him and the complaints of the people towards him. Because involvement and caring and true concern for others require taking steps that are not always pleasant and nice, and naturally they sometimes arouse opposition.
Even in education, the good parent is not necessarily the nice one. On the contrary, parents who constantly try to please their children will raise children who have no boundaries, who do not know how to delay gratification and who have not been educated in self-discipline. A good parent sets boundaries, demands, reproves, encourages and spurs. The child does not always like it, but over the years he will learn to appreciate the good education he has received.
The same is true for each and every one of us. It is very tempting to be 'nice.' Not to make a fuss. Not to try to right wrongs. Not to take initiative against indifferent or predatory elements. Not to act caringly. Yes, we will be loved. No one will have a bad word to say about us. But the truth is that we have abandoned the arena. We have chosen niceness instead of responsibility.
Willingness to pay a price
It is clear that one does not always need to admonish others and utter words of rebuke. The Sages stated that "just as it is commanded to say something that is heard, so it is commanded for a person not to say something that is not heard." One must also choose an appropriate opportunity. To say things pleasantly and sensitively. To choose the right words. To speak out of love, and to wrap the words of rebuke with compliments.
And yet, we are required to be caring and even willing to fight for our truth.
The world progressed and became better thanks to individuals who did not seek to be loved and liked, but rather strove to fix society and were willing to pay a price for the right things.
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