A. Seven days before his death, people gather at the corners of houses and whisper about the time left for the unfortunate young man. That means weeks, that means days, and that means that it is a 'matter of hours' (although it could also take a month) - and any abbreviation is fine.
B. The Israelites used to give colorful descriptions around the man's separation from his family members in the form, "He has already separated from the family," and also around the confession prayer in the form - "He has already read the confession several times," and they are not careful to state the exact number.
C. The Israelites were blessed with the quality of 'guarantee', and therefore they used to ask each other every hour how the dying person was, whether the prayers for 'Icyat Nesma' had been said, and whether his wife and children were nearby.
D. It is a good custom to inquire whether the condition of the deceased is known to his relatives and whether he himself is aware of his condition. And it is right to ask, when did the doctors tell him that his days are numbered, what was the exact wording, and how did he react when he heard about it. And the more you investigate and delve into the matter, the better.
E. Neither do the respondents keep their hands in the dish and ask many questions, and it is customary to note that the patient showed true heroism, was not afraid of his condition, and even replied to the doctors with a ruling that they do not determine anything, but everything is in the hands of God.
V. The woman, the meticulous ones used to say, is completely broken, but on the other hand shows true composure. In the case of the parents, some hold that they do not know, and some believe that when his condition worsened, they opened their ears.
G. It is appropriate to ask who discovered the parents' ears and how they received it, did they say "Oh" and lose consciousness, or did they simply burst into tears that reached the point of mental anguish?
H. It is known that they make a point of asking Rachel, your little daughter, where they discovered the disease and what the exact organ is. They also ask: Was it 'in an advanced stage'? And if it concerns women, they used to simply say 'a disease of women', so as not to disturb the babies.
9. It is a mitzvah from the chosen one to know how the illness 'exactly' began. What did the patient feel, where did he go initially, and how did he learn that this was indeed a terrible illness. And it is known that in the vast majority of cases, the respondents usually say that the doctors believed that this was not a serious incident, but after many examinations they realized that it was indeed a disease.
10. In all stages of the dying person's illness, it is the custom of the Jewish saints to know how far the disease has spread, and they lower their voices when mentioning that the 'metastasis has reached the liver', and also when they say that 'the doctors sent him home because there is nothing more to do with him in the hospital.'.
11. Even though they are not Jewish experts, they are sons of experts, and therefore the listeners used to wave their hands in sorrow when they said that the disease had reached the liver. And if it had reached the pancreas, they would use this wording: 'If it is in the pancreas, there is nothing to be done.'.
12. After hearing the news that so-and-so has contracted an illness, it is appropriate to say: My uncle was also diagnosed with the disease in the same place. And if he does not have an uncle, he should mention another relative. And if he does not have a relative who is ill, he should mention the name of a well-known person, provided that he does not leave his mouth empty.
13. Even those who hear him are wont to ask him: Well, what happened to that sick person? And he replies to them, Blessed be God, he will come out of this, and if, God forbid, this is not so, he will bend his hands downward and say in a voice filled with sorrow: His memory, blessed be he, will pass away within a few months.
14. It is well known that for every patient, his family consults with people who are considered experts on the subject, such as Benny Fisher, Hananiah Cholak, or Elimelech Firr, who is considered a great expert. It is common for family members to respond and say things like: 'Firrr said not to operate in Israel,' or 'Firrr said that this operation will not help and it is not worth going into.' Fuhrer also said that 'it is worth taking him out of Beilinson and transferring him to Ein Kerem,' and it is known that his words are heard and accepted by all who hear them because of their experience.
15. The Israelites used to ask the distant relatives of the sick whether they had sought blessings from the great men of the generation, and they would answer them and say that they had done everything in both the medical field and the spiritual channel. And when they were asked what the great man said - they used to reply: 'What did you think he said? May he bless you with complete recovery'! And some would add: Stop bothering you.
16. Since the patient's soul has departed, they immediately pass on the news in WhatsApp groups and announce that the patient is no longer with us. The news is usually passed on quickly, and within an hour, the Haredi news sites announce the man's passing and explain that this is a serious tragedy, since until now we have only known tragedies that are not serious.
17. Upon the death of a young man or woman, it is customary to ask how many children the man has, and more specifically how old they are. The great scholars have already said that it is appropriate to say in the following terms: All are under the age of a mitzvah, and the youngest is two years and days old. At that moment, one of the group stands up and says in a voice filled with wisdom that this little one will not deserve to know his father, and that the deceased did not succeed in leading any of his children to the wedding. And those who hear are accustomed to bow their heads in agreement with the words of wisdom he has spoken.
18. The man has passed away, and the funeral is already being announced in the holy language in which everyone is accustomed to speaking. During the funeral, the people will watch the immediate relatives of the deceased in order to understand and notice how they react. Did they cry, blush, or smile as a nervous reaction? And he will make this arrangement: he will first look at his children, then at his wife, and finally at his parents. And the most elegant viewing is during the Kaddish, when the deceased's tender children say the prayer in a broken voice.
19. A week after the funeral, the meticulous ones would cluck their tongues and say, "Poor widow," "Poor children," and would make sure to check whether the deceased was a subscriber to the "Arabs" fund, and if not, whether they were collecting money for him.
20. Because seven days have passed, people forget about the deceased and are preoccupied with the next patient, until it seems that he has passed and is forgotten from the world.
• Eliezer HaYun, 10 Haredim
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