Passover is long behind us, and I look in utter despair at the wardrobe in the children's room. There is no trace of the fact that two months ago everything was neat, sorted, folded, and organized. The short summer clothes have mixed in with the winter clothes and transitional clothes, wordlessly crying out for a little order and organization.
I close the closet door in bitter despair, trying again to ignore the mess on the shelves, and promising myself for the first time in who-knows-how-many years that at the first opportunity I get, I will deal with the disarray in the closet.
I know Rinat through a mutual friend. "You have to meet her," she says, after I've nag her for a long time about the mess in the closet taking over.
A brief conversation with Rinat makes it clear to me that I have found my savior when it comes to order.
'"Sidora," she calls herself, and gently offers to come and tidy up my problematic wardrobe that cries out for help. The shame, more than the mess, manages to overcome me, and I politely refuse. We arrange to meet at one of her clients'.
•
Friday morning.
We arrive at Hani's, a Chabad emissary in one of the Jerusalem neighborhoods. Hani is energetic, a mother of five children and has a heavy English accent, and welcomes us with great joy. A brief tour of the house makes it clear to us that Hani is in a toy crisis, which has taken over every possible corner of the house.
Rinat wastes no time and gives Hani her first rule: "Everything has its own place" - and together they decide that it's better to have all the toys concentrated in the children's room. They take out the unnecessary baby crib and begin the task of sorting.
Hani proves to be an exceptionally disciplined and cooperative client, and begins to get rid of the quantities of toys one by one, which would not shame a respectable kindergarten.
Along the way, the wardrobe and bookshelf were also given a new shape. "Here's a familiar problem," says Rinat. "Hani receives a lot of toys, clothes and objects from her family abroad, and because everything looks good to her, she's unable to filter and know what she really needs and what she can pass on.".
In her characteristic silence, she explains to Hani that in the future, the filtering will start at the door. Nothing that is not really needed will be brought in anymore, and "there will be a lot of people who will be happy to accept what you don't take.".
After intensive sorting that lasts no less than two hours, we fill five garbage bags full of all the good stuff.
•
Rinat Ohayon, 36, married to Yosef, mother of four children, lives in the Kiryat Menachem neighborhood of Jerusalem. In addition to arranging houses, she also manages an office in the legal department in the City of David.
How did you become a 'siddur'?
""Five years ago I was at home, pregnant, unemployed, bored. Somehow I couldn't find myself anywhere and was looking for something to do over and over again. A casual visit to a friend whose husband serves in the army brought about a turning point in my life. I found myself helping her tidy up and organize the house, and especially getting rid of old things that were no longer needed. The feeling of satisfaction, the order and cleanliness of the house and mind, led me to volunteer at the 'Time Bank.'.
"By the way, 'Sidura' is not my name. Someone once called me that, following a seder I did at her house, and since then it has become a byword. My professional name is 'A Place for Everything.'" .
What does the time bank require of you?
"We have a welcome initiative in our neighborhood called 'The Time Bank', on behalf of the Kiryat Menachem neighborhood community center, in which you essentially give an hour a week of yourself and your time, and receive an hour a week in return from another volunteer at the Time Bank. I volunteered for an hour a week at a nursing home, with one of the elderly, and in return I received an hour a week in piano lessons.
"When I discovered that I could help organize and get rid of unused items, I decided to donate an hour of my time a week to families and help them organize their homes. Of course, the responses were so positive and encouraging that I decided to continue with it, not only in the time bank, but as an additional profession, in parallel with my work.".
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In my opinion, it's terribly intrusive to bring a stranger into the domestic mess.
""True, but the person who calls me is already reaching maturity and understanding that she needs help. Most of the women in the homes I've been to get rid of their unnecessary belongings quite easily. After cleaning and tidying up, it suddenly brings them inner peace, and many times I hear the response: How come I didn't do it until now?".
How do people end up with such a load of unnecessary items and objects?
""There is overconsumption in the Western world," Rinat replies. "And our desire as parents to just give and give makes us miss the experience of true giving, and instead of giving in a different way, like talking, spending time and being with the children, we psychologically buy and try to calm our conscience, and buy and load the house with objects and gifts that have no connection to everyday needs.".
"After the Seder, you suddenly see the abundance that God has given, and you are content with what you have. The same goes for children. When everything is organized and in its place, the child has no need for more games.".
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What do we do with the things we throw away?
""I try very hard to take the bags with me, and not leave them at home, where I have now finished cleaning and tidying, since many times I have encountered those who regretted it and returned the unnecessary contents to their place. And even worse: there are those whose belongings have returned to the room and become a mess, just because they did not empty the bags, and the children went back to looking for things there.
I sell the items for one shekel, and the profits go to fund workshops and coaching that I conduct on proper consumerism - as education and help for the general public.
"It's easy for people to part with their belongings when they know they have a destination. The things that remain and are not sold are donated to non-profit organizations or charities that I'm in contact with.".
What is your working method?
"First of all, we always work together! I'm not a housekeeper who comes and goes. I teach the person I come to to look at the problem in the face, and we find ways to deal with the problem here and now.
"I leave the tools in her hands to deal with the mess in the future, when I'm not there. Usually I'm the one who guides and helps. This is a very important and critical step in arranging the house, so that they take part in the work, and so that there is a desire to continue to maintain what exists.".
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What happens the day after?
""I usually leave clear instructions. After I leave and we've finished tidying up the house, I maintain continuous contact with the client and encourage her to continue to at least maintain what is there. I accompany families and visit all parts of the house with them. This process takes at least a year, and in the meantime we get rid of all the unnecessary things that were lying around in the closet or in parts of the house.
"I teach what is really needed and what can really be left because it is useful and will not be used for something that is disposable. When there is order, there is more peace and there is much more flow in the life of the entire household.".
Does your home meet the standards you set for your clients?
""Absolutely yes. I have an ironclad rule: I don't go out to tidy up other houses before my own is tidy. It's impossible for my house to look neglected or messy while I'm tidying up others'. Every day I make sure to have a certain time, especially before dinner, to get the kids going and take over the house. In the morning, with all the running around, it doesn't always work out, and in fact in the evening I benefit twice: I also give my children tools and boundaries for the future, and along the way, I have a tidy house.".
How do you involve family members in this process?
""It is very important to get family members to cooperate. First of all, we will serve as a personal example. Without a personal example, we will not be able to integrate the children and the husband. We need to speak pleasantly and not with shouting and threats, provide a fair division of roles that suits everyone, and explain the importance to the soul of a clean and tidy home.".
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What are your tips for keeping order at home?
""Everything has its place." – Find a place for each item that belongs to it.
To remove the unnecessary – Anything that is not used is simply thrown away.
To unite similar objects.
Demarcating areas according to household needs - Put everyday objects in accessible places.
Making the home user-friendly
Tidying up the house only at the end of the day – Don't become a victim, the house is allowed to mess up, and tidy everything up at the end of the day.
•
I said goodbye to the lovely Marina and Hani, with an uplifting feeling. It instilled in me a great desire, I too want to start maintaining order and cleanliness as much as I can.
Two hours before Shabbat, I approached the unruly closet, looking at it for the first time without the feeling of despair that had enveloped me recently, and I decided with great desire to finally tackle it. In amazing collaboration with my eldest daughter, we finished the entire wardrobe, and a large bag of unnecessary items was sent, as a courtesy, to the neighborhood waste collection center.
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