You never read the news or surf the internet, but you know that:
Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef is the son-in-law of Rabbi Shlomo Amar, Yitzhak Ravitz is the son of Avraham Ravitz, his wife is the CEO of the President's Office, Litzman decided to resign from the position in the municipality at the last minute, the latter ruined Pindros' position in Betar, the terrorists and haters are currently at this particular stage in the arbitration, that rabbi did not come to the event because he is not willing to sit with that rabbi on the same stage, they brought this Rebbe to the council to upset the other Rebbe, today the war against Chabad is over, he knows how to speak nicely and lead rallies well, the one with the knitted kippa is not a rabbi at all, if you find an iPhone you can burn it, an iPhone in gematria equals cancer, but then you check and find out that it is not exactly, this journalist receives money from Deri, Eli Yishai owes a lot of money, a certain website is addicted to retiring, Rabbi Shach died at the age of 103, or at the age of 107, who continues the path of Maran, why did he return to the question even though after all he succeeded In the media, the courtiers deceive the great, but not our great, who lives in Hazon Ish 5, who is considered the best Haredi political commentator, what did the Rabbinate say about the grave of his rabbinic wife, what exactly was written in the will of the Rabbi Yosef, what is the lonely city where a parosh does not rule, how much does Moti Lavi earn on Kol Chai radio, how much did he earn before that on Kol Brama, everyone keeps asking the question only because of lust, who are the ten righteous who entered the Garden of Eden free in their lives, what is the difference between the two laws of conscription, what is the story that the Rabbinate tells citizens on Shabbat night in Parshat Ya'ishlach.
You don't need a translation when you are being talked to about:
The Gra, the Grail, the Graish, the Gram, the Grai, the Gersham, Rabbi Berl, Rabbi Gershon, Haredak, Beit Shel Goyim, David 10, Rabbi Amnon, Chacham Shalom, 2TS, Hidabrot, Friday Night, Atsitz, the Norwegians, Rabbi David, Bo'Ha, the harms of technology, Traif, Yehudit, the damned wicked, Ansh, the upheaval in Beit Ne'eman, Kapida, the blue shirts, Kiddush, the tape, the demonstration of the million.
You can complete the sentence:
Friday night we eat....
The submarine sailed....
And will return...
She hears....
Children tell stories about...
Cutting....
The rally sparked widespread...
The oil jug...
Livelihood from...
God does what...
Hold on tight, leaf...
New is not allowed...
Not selected...
The chips of...
At least once:
You heard a tape by Rabbi Amnon Yitzhak, you were at a funeral with hundreds of thousands of people, you sat in a deli and yelled at someone who was an infidel, someone yelled at you in the same deli where you were talking about 'great ones', you ate cholent at Simchat Beit Hashoeva of 'Toldot Aharon', you worked at a Torah institute, you got tired of it, you studied some academic course at the Haredi Institute for Vocational Training, you received a scholarship for your studies, your son or daughter was not accepted into educational institutions, you received a food kit before Passover, you were at a large Hasidic tish, you heard a lesson from a Rosh Yeshiva and didn't understand, you heard a lesson and understood, you said: He got the disease, you asked someone to record the courtyard - Oshpizin - Shtisel for you, you heard at least one story about a couple who had no children following an attack on a teacher many years ago, you came to an inspection of a kollel by the Ministry of Religious Affairs, you were with a famous kabbalist, you knew someone from a good family who came out with a question, you called to recommend the son of the Faranek Haider, you didn't answer, you said you knew a senior doctor at Hadassah Ein Kerem, you walked to the Western Wall on Shavuot night, you accompanied Kupperman's GMA, you signed a document that you don't have a non-kosher computer-iPhone-phone, your parents signed, your sons will sign, you told your wife that your children won't play with the child of this spoiled family, your wife told the principal and elevated your status, you brought your father to a synagogue and asked the collector to let him speak, you never did it again, you signed a guarantee for a neighbor who took a loan from Kupperman's GMA, you told him you don't sign after you failed once, you told yourself you would start Daf Yomi on the Darshu test track, you told yourself you would start Daf Yomi even without tests, you decided to study 'Shimirat Shabbat Kehilatah' and 'Yalkut Yosef' on Shulchan Shabbat, you promised yourself that you and your wife would fly Abroad, you promised yourself that you would hold a kollel, you accompanied the rabbi on Shabbat after prayer, you talked to him on the way home and were glad that your wife saw it, you had a fight with the neighbor who expanded his apartment and promised him that you would meet in court, you decided to give in to him, you also expanded and built a housing unit.
You can close your eyes and remember what it looks like:
The funeral of the Rabbi Yosef, the prayers on the days of the Dead in the yeshiva, your first day in a small yeshiva, the first time you spoke to the head yeshiva, the first time you entered the Rebbe, the moment you were there when the recording about Aryeh Deri became public, your walk to the Western Wall after you closed 'Wort', the first time your wife asked you a question about halacha after the wedding, your immediate phone call to the rabbi, the funeral of the young relative or neighbor who died of the disease, Nati Grossman after his injury, a Haredi in a mall, a young Eichler on the Popolitika program.
You have no idea why you:
Not doing anything about the ugly discrimination in yeshivas and seminaries against Sephardim, speaking in the Holy Tongue when you meet a 'serious' Hasidic Jew, not saying a polite hello to your Hasidic neighbor, that one belongs to the haters, that one belongs to the terrorists, for the draft law when you have no idea what it says, against the law when you have no idea what it says, how can it be that the Hasidic Jew who was sitting across from you smiled when you told him - Eretz Zevat... His Honor, what's wrong with your son growing up knowing the English language, loving Haredi society, running to the rooftops on Independence Day to see the fireworks of the Zionists who only wanted to uproot Torah, thinking that all secular people are thieves who take drugs and are steeped in immodesty, rolling in money but I'm sure your financial situation is good, thinking that your children don't know that you see Shatisel, thinking that Haredi MKs love money, buying a phone with two SIM cards, thinking that no one knows about it, including the seminary principal.
Thanks to Yair Lapid for the concept.