Journalist Amnon Levy presented the GK program V, the ultra-Orthodox divorcees.
Due to the 'promos', I, like many of my readers, watched the show while glued to the couch. I sat, watched, and cried. The show didn't introduce many new things to me, but there were a few that did.
Haim Grilak, an activist in the 'Dosim' organization that fights incitement against the Haredi public (of which I am also a member) - Post on this platform article, and presented The situation of Haredi divorced women is more complex than presented in the article. According to him, some of the statements made by Amnon Levy and his Haredi researcher are nonsense, distortions, and outright lies.
Well, there were some small omissions of important details in the article, and yet it is impossible to ignore and cover up the bitter reality.
Although I am a 'Dosim' activist, and hence I am supposed to defend Haredi society as long as I live, this time we need to understand that there are two sides to the coin.
After the program aired, two main reactions were observed in the sector: one - vehemently denying everything; the other - supporting the program, claiming that the genie has finally been let out of the bottle.
I decided to choose neither one nor the other, but the third option, which combines the two and seems correct in my opinion. A more neutral and practical opinion.
The divorcee across the street from me
I am aware that there are organizations in the Haredi sector and that there is help for divorced women. I, too, until a few months ago, was a volunteer at Yad Eliezer. You don't need to tell me.
Until a few months ago, an ultra-Orthodox divorced woman, a mother of three, lived in the apartment across from mine. She was in great need, like most ultra-Orthodox divorced women, and single mothers in general.
Every day, people from various organizations would come to her and help her in different ways. I remember the knocking on my door when the divorced woman was not at home. They asked me to watch over the steaming "pots" for her. When I would collect food for the needy for the Yad Eliezer organization, that divorced woman, despite being needy herself, would give away an enormous amount of food that she herself had received from another organization.
That divorcee had a shoulder to lean on during this difficult time in her life. Her mother and sister helped her raise the children, despite the uproar over the divorce.
Why does she have a dog at home?
But unfortunately, despite all the charity and aid organizations in the sector, there are those who have been forgotten and completely ostracized from the community.
When I watched the program, I couldn't help but shed tears for the divorcee who said she wasn't included in the GMAH list - and then they made an excuse for her: "They have a dog at home.".
Have you ever wondered why an ultra-Orthodox woman (not modern, because moderns have a lot of dog owners) brought a dog into her home, something that is not forbidden according to Jewish law, but is not very acceptable in ultra-Orthodox society?
I can't stop thinking about the pain of children of divorced parents and their emotional turmoil due to this process, and the children's terrible feeling of lack of a parent.
I am not the son of divorced parents, but I have this thing called Jewish compassion and humanity in me, and I can understand that the dog that the woman brought into her home after the divorce was an attempt to fill the missing void in the hearts of her children.
Is it possible to just, mercilessly, not help her?
My heart was filled with pain for her. Who, like me, who came from a secular sector often filled with prejudice against the ultra-Orthodox, knows what she was going through?
Amnon does not hate Haredi
And here are some insights that came to me from watching the article:
A. It has been claimed that Amnon Levy hates Haredim. Well, Amnon really doesn't hate Haredim and has no prejudice against us, but by virtue of being a journalist, it is clear why the man wanted as harsh an article as possible, even at the cost of changing or turning a blind eye to some important data. This is how journalists behave.
So not all divorced women are as wasteful as dogs, but some are, unfortunately.
B. Divorce is an extremely painful thing for both a man and a woman. The intention of Rebbetzin Povarsky, who was quoted on the program as if she was opposed to divorce, was actually to convince anyone who is thinking about getting divorced - to try to save the marriage, as much as possible. Unfortunately, sometimes there is no choice and one has to "cut it off." Her husband, the Rosh Ha-Yeshiva, also said this. It is not for nothing that the Torah gave us the option called a get.
C. The Haredi sector has a well-known mechanism: if it is attacked from the outside - it tries to justify itself, even when it is not right. As a sector known for its extensive charitable activities, I turn to my Haredi brothers and call on them: Pay attention first to the needs of the environment, and if you see a son of a divorced mother - take him for the sake of God to the synagogue, help him, offer him to study with you, try to help the divorced woman in any way possible. Do not let her and her children live life in the dark, invite them to Shabbat meals and holidays, make them happy.
There is no shortage of ways to bring joy and light to these families during these difficult times, it just requires a little reflection outside our own bubble. Show Jewish compassion and leave Amnon Levy behind, which may in retrospect make us light up the faces of those women, crying in the dark without ceasing.
D. Divorced women are not dangerous, actually. They are full of strength and they survive the hardships of life, do not give up and fight for their children. Please help them fight. Do not leave them exposed in the rear.
Who knows, maybe you'll take what I wrote to you, despite my young age, as some food for thought.
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