Last day of the week. I'm sitting in the synagogue with my brother, when a Sephardic guy approaches me, his face stern. We've never spoken before.
""I'll tell you something," he begins in the next monologue, "My neighbor, a Lithuanian, installed an air conditioner in his bedroom wall, and the pipe, the white plastic one that leads the dripping water out, ends in my yard.".
I haven't opened here in four months. Last week I went up to him and said: 'I'm building a sukkah in the yard, I'm asking you to fix the pipe.'.
''I'll check,' he replied. What needs to be checked? It needs to be sorted out and that's it.
I waited three days, Sukkot in two days, and nothing moved. I approached him: 'Look, I don't know what Torah law is here, and Torah law is there. I haven't visited a place like this, I don't know it, and I don't want to know it either. But if by tomorrow the drip pipe isn't directed anywhere other than my yard, I'll go up with a ladder, a big cutter, and cut off the air conditioner.'.
Then I added, 'And if you try to interfere, I'll take the cutter, cut off your head.'.
An hour later the pipe was fixed.
I can tell you one thing: the Ashkenazi neighbors have never heard of me. circumcision "In the building, I'm not interested in a relationship with them, I don't want their schools, their education, their institutions. I can't stand them. I don't want to talk to them. But when they come into my house, I solve the problems with them in my own way.".
I didn't have time to respond, because as quickly as the guy told me the incredible sequence of events, he disappeared. I wondered if I had actually met him, or if it had been a dream.
And in any case, one very disturbing question remained with me following the pleasant conversation:
Where does this hatred for Lithuanians, Ashkenazim, and their educational institutions come from? Why is that Sephardic Haredi 'homeowner' so 'disgusted' by them that he doesn't want to 'reach out and talk' with them?
And above all, who needs to do some soul-searching here: the Sephardim who are trying to distance themselves, or the Ashkenazim who have managed to create such a sense of rejection?
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Imagine the following situation:
A city street, you are standing in a small crowd, on the edge of the sidewalk, and in front of you is a crosswalk with a traffic light installed next to it for pedestrians.
At this time, the traffic light is red. This means that you and the pedestrians next to you are ordered to stop and wait, even when the road is deserted and there are no cars nearby.
And here an interesting phenomenon occurs: one of the men, a tall man with graying hair, an immaculate shirt, and the look of a professor from the nearby university, crosses the road despite the red light.
Immediately following him, other pedestrians walk, and after them more, until the group empties.
Now try to imagine the same person, only that under the ironed shirt, the glasses, and the briefcase in his hand, there is a young Haredi guy, his sideburns sticking out behind his ears, and his turbans dangling from his forehead [as is the custom of the Slobodka yeshiva] - what would be the reaction of passersby?
It is likely, as similar studies show [where the yeshiva boy is replaced by a young man in torn jeans and long hair], that the group will respond with what is called 'negative sanction,' meaning that the young Haredi boy will encounter comments, insults, and moralizing.
why?
What is the objective difference between the young Haredi, with the prominent wigs and turbans dangling from the front [as is the custom of the Slobodka Yeshiva], and the silver-haired man who emerged from the academy building?
This trivial exercise is an excellent example of 'abnormal behavior' and its acceptance as a group norm.
The formal norm prohibits running a red light, but the professor's abnormal behavior is accepted as a group norm, because of his respected stereotype by the small, temporary group at the traffic light. This group norm leads everyone to follow him across the road. The young Haredi's behavior is linked to the group's negative stereotype of Haredim, and they are quick to condemn him and lecture him about dangerous red light crossings.
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He is a follower of the Toldot Aharon, an academic, and an educator of the highest order. There are few intelligent and sharp young men I have met who match the sharpness of his mind and the ability to discern the truth of my fellow Hasidic friends.
And yet he painfully told me the following unpleasant episode: During his professional visit, as an educator, to several homes, the homeowners opened the door, asked for his forgiveness, and returned with a number of coins in their hands: Here, please, they told him, and they didn't even ask for a receipt.
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