• Rabbi Avraham Menachem Eisenbach, founder of the 'Migdalor Center for Education and Soul'
This silent crime sometimes happens in our own homes too. He opened the door quietly. On the other side stood a child. Pure face, intelligent eyes. Maybe six years old. Maybe seven. The father held his breath. Waiting for a hug. For a word. For something. But the child looked at him silently - and said nothing. He didn't recognize him.
This is not a mistake. This is not natural forgetfulness. This is the product of a process. Of a system. Of a plan. This child - lost his father while he was still alive.
And the father? He didn't run away. He didn't give up. He begged, wrote letters, sent gifts, fought for his rights, but someone else decided - in the name of 'the best interests of the child' - that this encounter shouldn't happen. That history should be severed, erased, rewritten.
And so, an innocent Haredi child hears from childhood sentences like: "Dad didn't want us," "Dad sinned," "Dad left," "Dad is dangerous."
And the child believes. Because that's how they build their world.
This happens to us too - and the pain is screaming. We talk about "our own public," about communities of piety, kindness, devotion. But there is a dark corner. Quiet. Invisible. And there, beneath the outer shell, there is a screaming silence of bleeding souls. This is parental alienation. Not a conflict. Not a temporary distance. Not an emotional difficulty. But erasure. Systematic slander. A focused process in which a child learns to hate his father or mother. And it happens on the street or even next door, and it's all done quietly - in the hallways, in night conversations, in gentle messages, in looks, on the phones.
The child does not hate - he learned to hate. There is a recurring phrase: "The child doesn't want to see the parent." And then the system nods, agrees.
But we forget a simple thing: no child really wants to give up their parent. When a six-year-old says: "I don't want my father" - it's not a choice. It's the result of brainwashing, of constant whispers, of certain reactions every time he mentions him. It's an atmosphere that makes him believe that he has to choose a side, and that love for his father will betray his mother - or vice versa.
An orchestrated campaign: the activists, the tax collectors, and the self-righteous. This play is not written by one person. It is not one confused parent. It is an entire system - organized, intelligent, dangerous - that takes control of souls.
It starts when a parent wants to get divorced, or has gone through a crisis. Immediately the "advisors", "helpers", "good advocates" appear. Suddenly she is not alone - she has two or three advocates, five cell phones, and endless support.
But the price is heavy: she is drawn into a system that doesn't really want to help - but rather to control.
Those 'activists' convince her with manipulations: "Beware of him," "Don't agree to anything," "Fight for the children." They paint the father as a predator, even when there is no basis for this; they persuade, leak, plant fake documents and evidence. Some take care to issue "opinions," create imaginary cases, and spread rumors.
And the father? I don't know what hit him. They divide souls: This boy will stay with his mother, this girl will be cut off from her father. This one will see her father once every three weeks, for two hours, this one will meet under escort, and this one - not at all. And behind this - stand people who have turned stirring into a career.
They are not looking for peace, but for power. And this power is built on the backs of children.
Rabbis and spiritual authority figures are being exploited. Let's say this clearly: The problem is not the rabbis and teachers. The vast majority of them are people who are pious, wholesome, honest, pure, God-fearing, with a true heart who sacrifice themselves for the public.
But they not They always know what's really going on. They trust the reports that come to them. And the reports? They come from the system - from the collectors, the activists, the parties that have a clear interest. The rabbi can't always examine the child himself. He doesn't necessarily talk to both sides in depth. He hears a story, with documents that seem credible, and gives an instruction. Not out of malice - but out of innocence.
Therefore, it is important to say: The rabbis are not the issue. The criminals are those who operate the system and exploit the rabbi's name, his authority, his honor, in order to bury the other side.
The wounds that don't heal. And the children? They grow up with a hole in their hearts. They learn that all love is dangerous. That family is a battlefield. That a father can be erased, just like a book can be erased. They don't learn to trust, they don't build stable relationships. Their souls tremble.
They suffer from severe symptoms: anxiety, depression, difficulty in relationships, a tendency to self-destruct, loss of identity. And unfortunately, a lot of dropouts. And some never manage to recover.
Because when the heart is torn at the age of six, it is very difficult to mend it at the age of twenty.
The moment of truth: when the lie is revealed - One day, at the age of 18, in a yeshiva, he sees his father. The man approaches him, with tearful eyes. And whispers: "I didn't leave you. I searched. I sent letters. I cried. I wanted you every day."
And the boy feels his entire world crumbling. Because everything he knew was a lie. Everything he was taught was implanted. And rage erupts. At whom? At the one who lied to him. At the one who took advantage of his innocence. At the one who took his soul - and turned it into a tool in war.
'The best interests of the child' or the best interests of the child? The official title of this entire mechanism is: "The best interests of the child." But behind this lies the bitter truth: it is not his best interests - but someone else's best interests.
The good of a vengeful parent. The good of businessmen who want control. The good of family counselors who seek power. The good of a legal system that exploits the situation. The child is not really at the center. He is a tool. A puppet. A victim. And the easiest thing to convince is that everything is done "for his own good."
But not forever. Like any injustice - this too will not last forever. The truth is coming out. The children are waking up. And today - more and more young people are opening their mouths. Writing letters. Picking up phones. Sharing on forums. Asking for help. Seeking therapy. And courageously dealing with what was stolen from them. It starts with small waves - but the dam will break. Because a Jewish soul - does not surrender to distortion forever.
And what is our duty?
1. Open your eyes. Understand that parental alienation exists. Even in our homes. Even in homes that seem to be "observant of Torah and mitzvot."
2. Don't be silent. Ask, check, be interested, don't immediately believe every story about a "dangerous father."
3. Strengthen the alienated parent. Give them your back, listen, support them - even when they are labeled as "problematic."
4. Protect the child. Do not give up his right to love both of his parents. Do not cooperate with those who abuse him.
5. Don't get carried away by businessmen. Not by self-made experts, nor by consultants of sorts who manage portfolios like a reality show.
6. Set boundaries. For anyone who tries to hand out children as if they were bags.
Because in the end - it's not just about them. It's about all of us. Every child who has lost a parent due to alienation - is a child we have all failed. Every father who stands on the street waiting to see his son - is blood crying out from the ground. Every 'businessman' who divides - is not just dividing a house. He is corrupting a soul.
And the question is one: Will we continue to remain silent - or will we choose to be the voice of the children who have no voice?
Parental alienation is not a legal problem. It is not a result of divorce. It is a moral wrong. A spiritual crime. And it is happening right now - right under our noses.
It's time to stop. Before those children are forced to shout the truth - it's too late. And the shocking results are on the wall.
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