After the three weeks of mourning for the destruction of the Temple, the sounds of joy and gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride, are once again heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem.
Wedding season is at its peak, and more and more new homes are being built in Israel.
But in our day, establishing a Jewish home and maintaining it over time is no small feat. Many threats face the integrity of married life.
It is enough to see the data on the divorce rate in certain sectors to understand the power of the destructive forces that can undermine the family unit and cause its dissolution.
Reasons for failure
Data from the Central Bureau of Statistics shows that every third couple divorces or is expected to divorce within the first fifteen years of marriage. When one takes into account that the divorce rate in the religious and ultra-Orthodox sectors is much lower, the conclusion is that in other sectors the divorce rate is even higher than the official figure.
These numbers indicate a fundamental failure.
Would we be willing to accept such statistics in other areas of life? For example, that every third doctor would prove to be unsuitable; or that every third commander in the IDF would fail in his job.
Such data would have shocked the swordsmen, and there is no doubt they would have immediately examined the training system and the reasons for the great failure.
And what about the thing that is most important to us – the family unit, the home, the source of a person's strength and happiness, the incubator in which children grow? Is it normal that one in three homes falls apart, leaving behind fragments that are very difficult to mend?
Indeed, sometimes there is no choice but to break up the package, and for this reason the Torah established the laws of divorce, but this is supposed to be a last resort in extreme cases.
If the divorce rate reaches enormous proportions as it is happening now, there is a failure here whose origins must be identified and corrected.
It starts with the initial matchmaking. The matchmaking format is sometimes mocked in the religious and ultra-Orthodox community, and some innocently ask if this is the way to get to know your partner deeply for life.
But it turns out that this method is precisely what manages to focus on the things that are truly important, which create the common denominator for a healthy life over time.
And on the other hand, you meet smart and talented people who are stuck in relationships that aren't right for them.
""I was excited about external things," they admit. "I didn't think about the important things in everyday life and the elements that provide stability to the family unit.".
Getting started training
Married life also requires constant maintenance.
Couples seek professional counseling when there is a crisis in their relationship, but why wait for crises? Why not receive proper guidance for life right from the beginning of our life together? We don't know everything ourselves. Just as we are taught to drive a car and operate complex software, so we must learn to operate this important system of married life.
The Creator of the world established for us the framework of the healthy family unit. God created man and woman, "and called their name Adam" - both of them together are called Adam, a complete human being. However, one must know how to nurture and preserve the framework of marriage, and then it will exist and flourish, bringing happiness and joy.
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